


We'll Be Alright

by bechloeslut



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Mental Health Awareness, Mental Health Issues, Mild Angst, No Lesbians Die, References to Depression, Romance, Slow Burn, angsty fluff, but not an unbearable slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-04-26 22:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14412210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bechloeslut/pseuds/bechloeslut
Summary: Two years have passed since the Bellas went their separate ways. With Beca working in LA and Chloe back in Portland for vet school, the once inseparable friends grew apart over time. With Cynthia Rose's wedding around the corner, the girls get another opportunity to reunite. Beca is determined to make it up to Chloe - but when they meet again, she ends up realizing a lot more than she had bargained for.





	1. Chapter 1

**July 12, 2018**

Atlanta, GA

 

A pop song playing softly over the radio was the only thing that broke the silence as Chloe's baby blue Bug sped down the interstate. She hummed along to the song, her fingers tapping sporadically to the beat.

Beca glanced at her from the passenger seat, tearing her gaze from the sight of the signs leading to Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. She knew that Chloe was the kind of person who tried to keep composure. At first glance, she seemed fine. But Beca knew better. She knew by the lack of animated chatter coming from her best friend. Not only was she not saying anything, but she had hardly pulled her eyes away from the road since they'd been in the car. She was alternating between tapping along to the music and gripping the steering wheel tightly enough that it put strain on her fingers. It was uncharacteristic of her to fidget so much.

"Chloe?"

"Hm, yeah?" Chloe perked up, seeming to snap out of her trance to look at Beca. "What's up, Becs?"

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice with a softer edge than usual. "You're quiet."

"Oh—yeah, I'm fine!" she said, trying to give Beca a smile. Her eyes darted away quickly.

Beca frowned. She was even less convinced than before. She'd seen the flicker of anxiety in Chloe's eyes before she'd had the chance to compose herself.

"Okay." she said, silently admitting defeat. Talking about it wouldn't help. If anything, it would just make Chloe more emotional. When she was the one driving, that was the last thing they needed to happen.

They rode the rest of the way in silence. The tension had only seemed to thicken since Beca's last inquiry. She snuck another glance at her friend and felt the knot in her stomach tighten.

Beca had never been adept when it came to dealing with emotions. In fact, it was purely in her nature to want to deny that she even felt a certain way about leaving Atlanta behind, and Chloe with it.

But she wasn't made of stone—at least not anymore. Over the years, the Bellas had softened her up to the vulnerability of human connection, mostly against her will. That, along with the fact that Chloe was her best friend. She would have had to be a real heartless bitch to leave behind the girl who had sought her out, fought for her, and supported her through and through without so much as a second thought. The truth was, leaving Chloe meant more to her than that. More than she wanted to admit, even to herself.

But now wasn't the time to dwell on all of that. She had to be the one to stay strong, for Chloe's sake.

Neither woman spoke as they arrived at Beca's terminal and Chloe parked in the garage. Beca knew that things were about to take a turn for the worse once she had unloaded her bags and Chloe came around to ask her if she was ready to go, scarcely making eye contact. When she finally did look at her, she seemed to stare straight through her, her eyes as sad and pitiful as those of a big blue-eyed puppy's.

"Yeah," Beca said quietly, nodding. "I'm ready."

She wanted to say something, anything, to make Chloe feel better. Anything to see that radiant smile back on her face and the light back in her eyes. It was unsettling to think that it was her fault that the usually jubilant redhead was so subdued. But every time she tried to speak, the words seemed to get stuck in her throat.

Beca was leaving to start her career in LA. In just a few weeks, Chloe would be headed back to Portland for vet school. They were going their separate ways. There was nothing Beca could say to make that truth any less difficult to swallow.

By the time she'd pondered all of this, they'd reached the entrance to security.

"You got your boarding pass?" Chloe asked, startling Beca from her thoughts.

"Yeah," she nodded, gesturing to her phone. "I'm all checked in."

"Okay."

Chloe just stared, her eyes misty as she fiddled aimlessly with the strap of her purse. Beca's stomach began to churn as she stared back, unable to tear her gaze away.

In one way, she felt that they were being just a little dramatic about all of this. It wasn't as if they were never going to see each other again. But their parting represented something more; something that wasn't just superficial. For them, it was the end of an era. The end of an era that was giving way to a new phase in their lives. They were starting fresh—but this time they wouldn't be by each other's side along the way.

"I'm going to miss you."

It had come out as softly as a whisper, Chloe's voice wavering. Beca felt something inside of her give a painful tug, and that was the very moment when Chloe's tears began to spill over.

"Oh, Chlo," she murmured with a frown, immediately taking her in her arms. Chloe hugged her tightly and hid her face in Beca's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she said, pulling away to wipe at her eyes. "I told myself I wouldn't cry—"

"Chlo, it's okay," Beca assured her, rubbing her arm. "I think I would be a little offended if you didn't cry."

Chloe laughed, and Beca couldn't help but smile a little.

"I'm going to miss you, too."

Wide blue eyes met her gaze.

"You're going to kill it in LA," she said, her eyes shining. "I just know you will."

"And you're going to kick major ass in vet school," Beca told her. "They won't know what hit them."

Chloe laughed and Beca smiled again.

"Promise to keep in touch?"

Beca nodded, her stomach riddled with knots. A lump was rising in her throat.

"Promise," she said, stubbornly ignoring the tears threatening to cloud her vision. "Portland isn't that far from Los Angeles, anyway."

Chloe beamed, and threw her arms around her again. Beca stood there, frozen in shock until her mind registered with what was happening. She wasn't sure of what exactly had taken her by surprise—it wasn't as if physical affection from the redhead was something outside of the norm. But somehow, this seemed different.

Beca knew that another one of her barriers had been broken down when she felt herself give in and pull Chloe closer to her, wrapping her arms around her waist and leaning her head against her shoulder. She felt a strange warmth move through her, simultaneously filling her up and tearing her in two. For someone who tended to avoid physical contact in most situations, having her arms wrapped around Chloe was…nice. She found herself not wanting to let go.

After a few moments, Chloe was the first to move away, pulling away from her tentatively.

"I don't want to keep you," she told her in a quiet voice, crystalline eyes fluttering up to look at her.

Beca's brows knitted together with a pinched smile. She wanted to argue, but Chloe was right. It was time for her to go.

The longer she looked at her, the more impossible the idea of turning around and walking away from her felt. A weight was bearing down on her chest, making it hard for her to breathe.

The idea of leaving had always seemed so easy. It had never been a question of if she'd leave, but when. She had thought about leaving before she'd even gotten to Barden. She never could have imagined that the moment she had been so long awaiting would be so difficult to swallow.

In that very moment, it was hard for her to convince herself that this was the right thing to do. Sure, she had been offered a once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity. Sure, it was the big break she'd always wanted. But she was about to give up her friends and her life and everything she knew now in exchange for it. Whenever she had imagined making that choice, it had always seemed like an easy sacrifice.

Now, seeing her crestfallen best friend, it felt like anything but easy.

Beca knew she had to leave. But she wanted to leave Chloe with something. Something that was lasting, that would make her feel loved; something to let her know how much she really did care about her.

Out of nowhere, she felt a sudden physical urge to lean forward and kiss her.

The realization was jarring, and jolted her insides with shock. She couldn't even begin to comprehend what those feelings were, where they had come from, or if they were even real.

All she knew was that she didn't want to leave Chloe. But she had to.

"I'll text you when I'm through security?" Beca offered, her voice faint as she tried to keep her tears at bay.

"Okay," Chloe said softly, blinking back moisture from her own eyes. "I'll see you around, Becs."

Beca took her hand without thinking about it, giving it a gentle squeeze as she brushed her fingers over hers.

"I'll see you around, Chlo."

Chloe gave her one last smile through teary eyes, giving her hand a squeeze in return. After a lingering moment, Beca finally forced herself to turn around and head towards security. Just when she was about to enter, she turned to see Chloe staring back at her. She smiled and gave her one last wave. Beca did the same.

Taking a deep breath, she passed through the gate. This time she didn't look back.

 

* * *

 

**October 31, 2020**

Los Angeles, CA

 

Beca huffed a sigh of exasperation as she took one good look at her living room. She had just finished tearing through her room, collecting various trash and dirty dishes, kicking shit under her bed and shoving piles of clothes anywhere she could fit them. Somehow, she had felt that the rest of her apartment had not been as bad in comparison. With throw pillows and blankets thrown about, more dirty dishes and trash, plus an entire table coffee table full of unopened mail, she wasn't sure how she had ever thought that.

Groaning, she dropped her kitchen bag full of trash at her side and plopped herself down in front of the table to tackle the overflowing collection of letters. She picked up a pile and began sorting.

"Bill, bill, bill," she rattled off, tossing them to the side with hardly a second glance. "Oh—"

Something made her stop short. In her hands was a smaller, more square envelope. On the front in bold round handwriting was her name and address. Intrigued, Beca flipped it in her hands. The return address, printed on a sticker, read the name Cynthia-Rose Adams.

"Shit," Beca muttered, tearing open the envelope with a sudden urgency. Inside was another envelope, this time consisting of black card stock with a round pink sticker sealing it. Out slid a matching card printed with looping script in the same shade of pink.

"Fuck."

Cynthia Rose was getting married.

This was not news, Beca realized. The couple had had a long engagement, and none of the Bellas had known when CR would actually end up tying the knot.

Beca felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. The invitation had been sitting on her coffee table, unopened, probably for weeks and she'd had absolutely no idea.

She frowned, and looked at the date printed on the card. November 16th, 2020.

"Oh,  _fuck_ ," Beca blurted again, her eyes widening. The wedding was a mere two weeks away.

She sat back and let out a breath, just processing. She would get the time off of work—it was a weekend, so she wasn't too worried about that. In two weeks, she'd be back in Atlanta for the first time in two years. Apart from Amy, she hadn't seen any of the Bellas in two years, having scarcely even kept in touch. And in just two short weeks, they would all be together again.

It wasn't something that sat well with Beca. The time had seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. She'd been so busy working that she'd hardly noticed—and when she had, it had been too late. There were countless ignored messages, and it was all just too much. Beca simply didn't have the time to go back and rekindle all of the relationships she'd let turn stagnant.

Even Amy, who had followed her to LA, she rarely saw anymore. It was her own fault, and Beca knew that. She wasn't proud of it. But work had taken over everything else in her life. If she had learned anything from her career at that point, it was that if you ever wanted to be someone, there was no room for free time. Period. In the music industry, it was all or nothing. There were no excuses to be made. There was no slack given to anyone.

Beca blinked, looking back down at the invitation still in her hands. Since she'd set foot in LA, she'd been nonstop. This was the first time in a long time, the first time that she could remember, where she had been pulled back down to earth for even just a moment. Most of the time, she just didn't have the time to think about anything other than what she was doing next. It was easy to get caught up in the fast pace of day-to-day life and forget where you came from. Forget the people who put you there, who lifted you up and inspired you to succeed.

For Beca, those people were the Bellas. After all they had done for her, it wracked her with guilt that she had just up and left and hadn't looked back.

It hadn't been that easy, though—at least not at first. She still remembered that dreary July day as clear as if it had been yesterday.

Saying goodbye to Chloe had been more difficult than she ever could have imagined. Of course, she didn't think it would be easy to leave her best friend. But this was  _her_. Beca Mitchell. Beca Mitchell didn't have feelings. Or at least, she wasn't supposed to.

Barden had changed her. It had broken her down and opened her up to new possibilities, rendering her vulnerable enough to have finally let people in. And it had been the most rewarding experience of her life.

Beca knew that she was a better person because of Barden and the Bellas. And she owe it all to Chloe. If it hadn't been for her picking her out at the activities fair, if she hadn't bombarded her in the shower and pestered her to join that ridiculous, over-the-top a cappella group, Beca's life would have been drastically different.

Out of everything, she thought of Chloe the most. She owed her so much, and yet, she hadn't been able to uphold a promise as simple as being a good friend to her in return. Even when Chloe had been the best friend she'd ever had.

It was a guilt that weighed on her every day, in some form or another, no matter how busy she seemed to be. It wasn't hard for her to be reminded of the bubbly, vivacious redhead. They had made so many memories together that it didn't take much. But each passing nostalgic thought pulled at that guilt, reminding her of how she had carelessly lost touch with the most important person in her life. It tore her up inside to imagine how Chloe might think of her now.

Beca blinked again. This time moisture ebbed at her eyes, pooling at the corners and spilling silently down her cheeks. How sad was it that this was the most she had thought about her friends in months. She had been so headfirst into her work that this was the most she had been in touch with reality in what felt like a long, long time. Life was passing her by and she hadn't even noticed.

The realization was hitting her hard.

In fact, it was a perfect example of how frantically she jumped from one thing to the next. Beca was set to attend some sort of industry Halloween party that night, and her coworker was absolutely adamant about setting her up with someone. Beca felt less than stellar about all of it, but since she had no choice in the matter of attending said party, she figured that perhaps getting laid might help to take her mind off of how crazy everything was, if only for just one night.

Now, sitting on the floor of her apartment in tears, it felt like the absolute last thing she wanted.

But again, she didn't have a choice. She would pick herself up, wipe away her tears, and get on with whatever she was doing. No excuses.

Even if Chloe was the only thing she'd be able to think about, all night long.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> This is my first Bechloe fic as I'm new to the fandom, though I've always enjoyed them as a pairing. It's also my first fic where I didn't write an author's note at the beginning - I guess I wanted the suspense lol. My girlfriend and I are working on this as a collab; we came up with the ideas and plot together, I'm doing the writing and she's helping me edit. She might also help with the writing eventually.
> 
> So here is Chapter 2 - we hope you'll enjoy it! Thank you to everyone who's already read and subscribed!

**Halloween 2020**

Los Angeles, CA

 

“Beca! Beca!”

Suppressing a sigh, the petite brunette’s eyes rolled back into her head as she spun on her heel, her expression simultaneously morphing into the most plastic smile she could muster. Approaching was the slightly overexcited, slightly obnoxious Marketing Representative at the label, Bridget Weston. She was accompanied by an unknown male, who Beca presumed to be her blind date.

“Bridget, hi,” she managed through almost gritted teeth, trying her damnedest not to think about all the places she would rather be than at this party.

“So great to see that you made it,” Bridget chirped in her shrill, artificially lilting voice, her elbow perched on the shoulder of the Unknown Male.

“Like I really had a choice,” Beca deadpanned, her bright, fake smile still plastered onto her cheeks.

Bridget buckled and laughed unnecessarily loudly, slapping a hand on her knee.

“Always the charmer, Beca. I see you really brought out your Halloween spirit tonight,” she said, her tone of enthusiasm unwavering. “What are you dressed as?”

Beca looked down at her own ‘costume’ in confusion. Her outfit was nothing more than a variation of what she wore to work every day: a sleeveless white blouse and black tie, skin tight black pants and matching stilettoed ankle boots. Bridget, on the other hand, was wearing a pair of velour cat ears and what looked like a tail to match the rest of her plain black attire. She had even painted a set of whiskers on her face along with a triangular pink cat nose to complete her look.

None of this was remotely surprising to Beca. It was just almost too uncanny to be real: the most basic Halloween costume, paired with the most basic, one-dimensional human being to ever walk the earth. A match made in heaven.

“Uh, myself?” Beca arched her brows at the blonde, shooting a look to her male accompaniment. “C’mon, Bridg. I can’t believe you didn’t catch on.”

“Get a load of this one, huh?” Bridget said, tapping the arm of her friend with the back of her hand. “Isn’t she great?”

Beca stared at the guy with that expectant look she often betrayed which told you she really _wasn’t_ expecting anything less than inevitable disappointment. He was attractive enough, she supposed—but he hardly managed to blink, clear blue eyes vacant as ever. With his sandy brown hair and slight beard stubble, he looked like what most girls would describe as ‘dreamy’. To Beca, he seemed as ordinary as any other guy that had absolutely zero personality or character. Kind of like the sort of guy Chloe told her she would have gone for, up until junior year.

Chloe.

She knew those eyes had reminded her of someone.

Beca felt her stomach clench as she remembered her scenario from earlier that afternoon. She stared back at the unnamed man, his gaze still completely blank.

 _Did he even respond to her?_ Beca thought to herself, cringing inwardly. _Well that’s fucking awkward_.

“Well anyway, Beca, this is Craig,” Bridget told her, gesturing to the boyish vegetable at her side.

Beca had to stop herself from laughing out loud _._ Of course his name was fucking _Craig._

 _A meathead name for a meathead guy_ , she mused.

“Hi,” he finally said, nodding to her.

“Hi,” Beca said slowly, sounding much more hesitant than sure. She waited, but Craig didn’t offer to shake her hand, his remaining in his pockets.

 _Wow,_ she thought, her brows rising. _He really_ is _a meathead_.

“Nice to meet you,” he said with a clipped, expressionless smile.

“You too,” Beca said, her expression stiff and plainly displaying the amount of discomfort she felt. She tried to return his smile, or lack thereof, but it ended up feeling more like cringing.

 

It came as a bit of a surprise when she ended up leaving with Craig that night. A few drinks later, Beca still hadn’t managed to get the Bellas, the wedding, or thoughts of her estranged best friend off of her mind. For reasons she could scarcely grasp herself, she felt a desperate need for something to distract her from facing what was going to happen in two weeks’ time.

As to why she was so intent to not think about it, Beca had no idea. Perhaps it was out of fear of figuring out why she was experiencing such an adverse reaction to the change in circumstance that she was looking for mindless sex to push everything from her mind.

Craig occasionally tried to make small talk during the ride to her apartment. Beca tuned it out for the most part, genuinely not giving a damn about whatever it was he was saying.

“Yeah, totally,” she muttered in response to some comment about football teams and the playoffs. Or was it basketball?

She stared out the window of the town car, taking in the views of Los Angeles nightlife as they passed by. She knew this was a stupid idea. Really stupid, when she thought about it. She wasn’t one for hookups, especially not with men who had IQs below 30. But for some inexplicable reason, she felt desperate enough to go through with this.

After some time, they reached Beca’s apartment complex. Craig finally stopped talking as she led him up the stairs. Her anxiety levels started to heighten as she fumbled for her keys to unlock the door.

Once they walked in, the knots tying up Beca’s stomach that had hardly loosened all night seemed to worsen. It hit her that she had no idea what she was doing, and she was nervous. Maybe she would be fine once things started happening, but somehow she couldn’t imagine that Craig would be particularly skilled at finessing her.

_Okay, whatever. This is happening. I’m just going to do it._

Swallowing her pride quite literally, Beca gulped and spun on her heel to face him. Not giving herself a moment to rethink her decision, she stepped forward, grabbed him by the tie of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss.

It was horrible, and she hated every second of it. Between his overabundance of saliva and the scratchiness of his coarse beard stubble, kissing him was so disgusting that it nearly made her nauseous.

She tried to get past it by pressing her lips to his harder and with less tongue, backing them up against the edge of the couch and pulling him with her. It didn’t seem to help at first, her palms becoming damp and her heart racing in her chest, but not in the exciting way. She had to stop herself from flinching when he put his hands on her hips, her body wanting to reject the contact. But Craig, seemingly oblivious to Beca’s internal struggles, bent to press his lips to her neck.

Instead of a gasp of pleasure, hers was one of horror. She jerked back reflexively, anxiety pulsing through her veins as she pushed him away, holding him at arms’ length.

“You know what, I—I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can do this,” she sputtered, attempting to give an explanation in response to the genuine confusion splayed over Craig’s simple features.

His brows only creased further in response.

“But I thought you wanted to—”

“Yeah, I thought I wanted to, but now I don’t,” Beca said, coming off a bit colder than she may have intended. Her words hung in the air before she spoke again, this time softer.

“I think you should leave.”

Beca stared at the floor, avoiding his gaze, her arms crossed over her chest. She could feel his eyes on her, practically burning a hole.

She picked up her purse from the floor and fished through it, producing her wallet.

“Here,” she said, thrusting a couple of bills into his palm. “For your cab home. Sorry I wasted your time.”

Beca got up from the couch and went to the kitchen, resting her elbows on the counter as she put her head in her hands. Craig stood there idly for a few seconds before he finally went to the door and left.

A groan escaped Beca’s throat as she rubbed at her eyes, temples, and the bridge of her nose, only now realizing just how exhausted she really was. She still had a slight buzz from the party, but it wasn’t nearly strong enough for what she felt like she needed at that moment.

Getting a glass from her cupboard, she filled it with some ice and produced a bottle of Jack from her liquor cabinet, filling it halfway. She took a long swig, enduring its potent tang for a moment before letting it burn down her throat, sending shivers of warmth down her spine. She felt it immediately, glad to have her inhibitions lowered by that much more. After the idiotic scenario she’d just gotten herself into, it was already helping to numb her own mortification.

After wanting a meaningless hookup in a feeble attempt to clear her mind, now all that filled her thoughts was how stupid she felt. Out of all the ways she could have responded differently to her situation, her idea of a potential solution was probably the most nonsensical of the lot. How she figured that getting dicked down by a brain dead guy with the personality of a robot would be a pleasurable or even fulfilling experience, she was at a loss.

She sighed, extending herself further from the counter so that her face was buried in the sanctuary of her arms. She wanted to cry—she felt it, felt the tears forming and threatening to fall—but she stubbornly refused. She refused to cry over something so inexcusably ridiculous.

A sudden pounding of a fist on her door snapped her away from her moping session, sending her shooting upright where she was standing. Confused, she hesitated before setting her glass on the counter and going to investigate who it was, proceeding with caution.

She glanced through the peephole and scoffed, swinging open the door.

“Surprise, bitch! I’m back!” Fat Amy proclaimed, pushing past Beca and strolling into the apartment as if it was her second home. “Happy Halloween! Did ya miss me?”

“Amy, what are you doing here?” Beca asked her, incredulous. As if she needed any more sensory overload that day. “You could have at least called to say you were coming—”

“Not really an option, Beca, since I honestly can’t remember the last time you responded to one of my messages,” Amy said matter-of-factly, shooting her a pointed look. “Bumper dragged me to this stupid party and I was tired as fuck so I left, so I thought I would check and see if you were still alive.”

Beca sighed, staring at Amy with an unimpressed look on her face.

“You still could have let me know.”

“And what fun would that have been?” Amy said. “By the way, who was that guy who just left here?”

“Someone you could’ve just interrupted me with, had you showed up three minutes earlier,” Beca muttered.

Amy gasped dramatically.

“Beca! Were you getting it on with him? Doing the nasty? Why did you stop?!”

Beca rolled her eyes.

“We _weren’t_. I told him to leave,” she said, folding her arms across her chest in defiance.

“What? _Why_? What’s wrong with you? When’s the last time you’ve gotten some, Mitchell?” Amy teased her, bumping her arm with her shoulder. “He was cute, too!”

“He’s, uh...Not exactly my type. He acted as if he had no brain cells left, it's a wonder how he functions,” Beca said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Who cares? Sex doesn’t require any intellectual conversation, Beca—”

“I know, okay? I just didn’t feel like going through with it anymore, is that okay with everyone?” Beca snapped, turning and stalking off towards the kitchen again.

Amy stood there, blinking in her confusion before turning to look at her.

“Jesus, what’s gotten into you? I’ve been gone for two months, it’s not like I barge in every day…”

Beca sighed, burying her face back into her arms as she leaned against the counter again. Guilt sunk to the pit of her stomach. Amy had been on vacation back home in Australia for the past two months, and even before that Beca had started seeing her less and less frequently.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, pouting to herself. “I’m just having a terrible fucking day. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Well…okay,” Amy said, looking more confused than ever. “I mean, do you want to talk about it?”

Beca huffed a breath, her shoulders slumping as she stared into her glass, slowly swirling her drink around.

“I’m just really stressed out. I _have_ been really stressed out, and it’s all just kind of hitting me now,” she said, fidgeting with her hands. “Ever since I got to LA I’ve been nonstop crazy busy with work, and I lost touch with so many people that matter to me and the time passed by so quickly that now I don’t know if it’s too late to go back and save those friendships. And now Cynthia Rose is getting married, and I don’t even know if anyone will want to see me there. I’ve been such a shitty friend.”

“Well,” Amy said in her characteristic blunt manner, “I can’t really disagree with you there, considering you haven’t responded to any of my messages in weeks…”

Beca groaned, plopping herself down in one of the kitchen chairs, taking her drink with her.

“Thanks,” she muttered through her fingers, her face in her hands.

“We were sort of wondering if you even knew about the wedding, because you know, no one has heard from you in ages.”

Beca shot up in her seat.

“You _knew_ about the wedding? And you didn’t tell me?”

“Of course I do!” Amy exclaimed. “And we tried to tell you! CR had to ask me for your address since she tried to get in touch with you like, four times.”

“Shit. So that’s why she was calling,” Beca murmured to herself.

“God, Beca, come on,” Amy said, pulling out the chair opposite her. “You gotta get your shit together, man. We all care about you; that’s why we all wish we heard from you more often.”

Beca frowned, letting out another exhale.

“I know. I’m sorry for being such a terrible person. I just can’t believe how the time passed so quickly.”

She stared at the table, watching the ice swirl around the amber liquid as Chloe filled her thoughts once again.

“I’ve just been so focused on work that I’ve let life pass me by without even noticing. I’ve probably missed out on so many great things. I could’ve even missed CR’s wedding, had I not found the invitation. I didn’t mean to let everything just slip through my fingers like that. But it feels like it’s too late.”

“Well it’s not too late,” Amy said, seeming more serious than Beca felt like she had ever seen her. “You still have the wedding. You can make things right with everyone again. And, it sounds like you need a break. This is your perfect opportunity.”

“I know,” Beca said, sighing. “I’m just afraid I’ll fuck it up somehow. I’m nervous to see everyone again.”

“And by everyone, you mean Chloe.”

Beca’s head snapped up, her eyes widening.

“What? Why do you think that?”

“Come on, Beca. I know you. I _know_ things,” Amy said, nodding forward and pointing at her head.

Beca rolled her eyes.

“Whatever,” she said, taking a sip from her glass.

“You know I’m right,” Amy went on. “I know that you and Chloe have lost touch, and that’s not like you guys.”

Beca couldn’t help the frown that clouded her features.

“I’m just afraid that she won’t forgive me,” she said, her voice almost as quiet as a whisper. “Honestly, I wouldn’t blame her.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Amy said, blunt as ever. “Of course she’ll forgive you. You’re Beca, she’s Chloe. Together you’re Bloe. Remember?”

Beca let out a snort at the memory, shaking her head as she smiled to herself.

“Yeah. I just want to make things right again.”

“You will, Beca,” Amy brushed her off with a wave of her hand. “Quit feeling sorry for yourself.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right,” Beca sighed, nodding in agreement. She had needed some of Amy’s tough love more than she had realized.

“Now, more importantly,” Amy said, gesturing to Beca’s drink. “You’re drinking alone and you didn’t invite me?”

 

Three hours and almost a whole bottle of Jack between them later, Amy was passed out snoring beside her on her bed, the TV still on from their Netflix binge-watching session. Beca, who was still a little drunk but more tired than anything else, curled up with her legs crossed beside Amy. A decorative book was lying in her lap.

In senior year, Chloe had put together keepsakes for every one of the Bellas who were graduating as something to remember their time together by. Most had been scrapbooks or photo albums, where she had taken the time to embellish pictures and other memorabilia with decorations and her own comments. They had all given each other goodbye gifts in some form or another, but none of the other girls had come close to coming up with something as heartfelt as Chloe’s idea. Beca had always thought that it reflected her perfectly. She had always been so thoughtful, sentimental, and caring to each one of the girls. Everyone knew how important both the Bellas and keeping memories alive were to Chloe. And for Beca, it was the best going away gift she could have asked for.

Beca's had been the biggest and most detailed out of all of them, because of all the things they had shared between just the two of them. Chloe had put together almost all of the photos and memories they had of each other, writing in little anecdotes and funny stories throughout the way. It was so elaborate that Beca imagined it must have taken her all year to work on it. It made her heart sink to think about how poorly she had treated her then. She had been insensitive and secretive; not even close to the friend that Chloe deserved. It upset her to think about how despite all of that, she had been working on the scrapbook for her the whole time, putting all of her heart and effort into it.

And now, it had sat in a box under her bed for the past two years, collecting dust.

Her heart in her throat, Beca brushed it off and opened it, smoothing out the pages. On the first was a handwritten note from Chloe.

_Beca._

_I think all the time about that day I spotted you in your freshman year. That year was full of ups and downs, and you may have had a rough start with us. But now I couldn’t imagine what the Bellas would be today if it weren’t for you. And while I knew we would be fast friends (remember that? lol!), when we first met I never would have thought you would end up being the best friend you are to me now. You mean the world to me, and I hope you’ll cherish the memories I’ve put together in this book in the same way I know I always will._

Beca gulped, tears already stinging at her eyes as she turned the page. The time seemed to pass her by as she pored over every photo, smiling through her tears, laughing and crying as she read through every moment and sweet comment that Chloe had written.

By the time she finished, she'd lost track of time. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she was even more exhausted than before. She turned the last page, laying eyes on Chloe’s final message to her.

_I know you hate sappy shit like this. But I already know that the time I spent with you at Barden will be remembered as some of the best of my life. I can only hope that you’ll feel the same way._

_I know we aren’t parting ways just yet. But in the case that one day we do, I want you to know that it’s been an honour for me to have known you. I know that whatever you decide to do when you leave here will be great, and I can’t wait to see all the amazing things you’ll do with your incredible talent._

_I couldn’t imagine my life without you, Beca. No matter what you may say or think, I couldn’t ask for a better friend. No matter what happens, just know that I’ll always be around to support you in whatever you do. Even if there comes a time where I don’t see you every day anymore, you will always be my best girl._

_Nothing will ever change that._

_Chloe_

Beca’s lip quivered as her eyes scanned the page, every word making her heart sink. She knew that Chloe had meant those words when she had written them; after all, she was one of the most honest people Beca had ever known. But going back and reading it after all the time that had passed, Beca had to wonder if Chloe still thought that way about her. She knew that Chloe was the kind of person who often stayed true to her word. But did that mean she would still welcome Beca back with open arms?

She would find out in two weeks’ time, for better or for worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloe's POV will be next chapter! Sit tight... ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you for your 12 kudos and 320+ hits. It's not much, but it means so much to us. We've loved writing this fic so far and we're both so excited to continue. Happy to have you all along for the ride, and we hope you're enjoying it. ❤️

**November 1, 2020**

Corvallis, OR

 

Chloe hummed along to an upbeat song playing over her kitchen radio, her fingers tapping against the spatula as scrambled eggs sizzled in the pan. She sang softly to herself as she stirred them, her red hair tied back into a messy bun. Turning the heat off, she spooned them onto her plate and took the slices of bread from the toaster that had just popped up.

Dousing on generous globs of jam, she glanced out the window and stifled a sigh, her shoulders slumping. It was yet another rainy, gloomy day in Oregon. The past couple of months had consisted mostly of damp, bone-chilling cold, day after day. Chloe could scarcely remember the last time she had seen the sun shine.

Though Portland was her home, after spending seven years in sunny Atlanta, she’d found it more difficult to readjust to the bleak patterns of weather than she’d anticipated. It had been two years since she’d arrived back and she still seemed to struggle, especially through the long winter months.

But she tried her best to keep a positive attitude, even though between the weather, her gruelling class schedule and clinicals, had reduced her social life to something practically nonexistent. Her routines, such as making a habit of singing to the radio every morning, were what kept her clinging to her last shreds of sanity.

Thankfully, it was the weekend, which meant more time to unwind—and even more for studying. And, she was reminded as she opened her laptop, it was November 1st. Looking at her calendar, she felt a genuine smile spread across her cheeks for the first time in what felt like ages. It was November 1st. Cynthia Rose’s wedding was on the 16th. That meant that in just sixteen more days, she’d be leaving Portland and returning to Atlanta for the first time in over two years. Chloe was desperate for a break, and she couldn’t imagine a better opportunity than spending a weekend with her best friends, celebrating CR and the love of her life.

Chloe breathed in happily, adjusting her photo of the Bellas from their last time together: their summer adventure in Europe. She had it perched on the ledge of the breakfast bar so she could see it every day and let it remind her of the fun she’d once had.

In a way, it seemed somewhat depressing that she even needed such a reminder. But the fact of the matter was that Chloe missed the Bellas all the time, regardless of what her general attitude was towards life. No matter how positive or negative she could try to be, the reality was that she missed her friends—nothing could really change that.

She glanced at the photo again, catching sight of her and Beca, side by side with their arms around each other, smiling and laughing. Her stomach fluttered at the memory, her heart tugging with an all-too familiar pang.

She thought of Beca every day. She wondered how she was, what she was doing, how work was going for her. She missed just talking to her, even if it was about something ridiculous or insignificant.

She often remembered the day they parted ways for the last time; the last time she had seen Beca in over two years. She had asked her to promise that they would stay in touch, and Beca had agreed. At the time she had seemed so willful, and at first, she kept her promise. But as time went on and their lives became more chaotic, their conversations became less frequent and more sporadic. Eventually, there came a time when Chloe just stopped trying. After having her messages ignored for days, then weeks on end, she stopped asking Beca to follow up. Because even if Beca did get back to her promising to FaceTime soon, it never ended up happening.

Chloe understood—she really did. Beca was insanely busy, and so was she. She was so incredibly happy that she was so occupied with her career and that it seemed to be taking off. She only just wished that she could still know what was going on in her life. They had gone from sharing every single detail with each other and joined at the hip, to months passing without them talking. And because Beca’s schedule was too erratic for regular communication with anyone, none of the Bellas knew more about her than she did. Amy was the only exception, and remained the only one of the group who was able to verify from time to time whether she was still alive or not.

And while Chloe was understanding, the way they had grown apart left a profoundly unsettling feeling within her. Though she didn’t resent her in the slightest, Chloe couldn’t help the hurt she felt towards their situation. While she knew that Beca hadn’t necessarily dropped her on purpose, she couldn’t stop herself from questioning the legitimacy of their friendship. If they meant as much to each other as Chloe had once thought, wouldn’t Beca have made more of an effort to keep her in her life?

She found herself often wondering if Beca missed her even a fraction of how much she missed her. She wondered if she so much as spared a thought towards her once in a while. The chance that she didn’t was something that Chloe still struggled to come to grasps with. Because while she understood and empathized with a hectic life, the possibility that Beca didn’t care about her in the way she thought she did tore her up inside.

It was difficult enough just to cope with the estrangement of her best friend. It was inexplicably hard to go from talking to someone every single day and sharing everything together, to two people who might as well have been strangers. As much as she might have tried to wish it away, nothing ever seemed to fill the void in Chloe’s heart that Beca’s absence had left.

The prospect of finally reuniting at the wedding both excited her and made her intensely nervous. Perhaps it would be everything she hoped and wished for: a joyous reunion between her and Beca where they pick up where they left off almost as if no time has passed. Or, it could be the opposite. What if Beca really didn’t want anything to do with her anymore? What if Beca wouldn’t even be there? What if she wouldn’t see her ever again?

The very idea of any of the latter happening tore her in two. She missed Beca so much that she would be ecstatic just to see her again and let everything else slide. After all, Chloe didn’t need an apology from her. She just needed Beca.

Chloe smiled sadly at the photo, moisture threatening to ebb at her eyes, her heart still tugging painfully.

November 16th couldn’t come fast enough.

 

* * *

 

**November 15, 2020**

7:18 p.m. EST

Atlanta, GA

 

“Cheers, ladies!”

Glasses clinked with chants of approval all around, the air in the restaurant spirited and filled with a new excitement.

Chloe couldn’t have peeled the big goofy smile off of her face if she tried. With her wedged between Aubrey and Jess, surrounding them was Ashley, Stacie, Flo, and Emily, with Cynthia Rose in the centre. She was reunited with her girls in balmy Atlanta, and nothing had felt better in what felt like a very, very long time.

There was only one thing missing from the otherwise perfect picture.

Beca.

“Alright, first off. Thank you all for coming,” Cynthia Rose started, jolting Chloe from her thoughts. “It means so much that you all could be here, since some of you have come from far.”

She looked at Chloe, and the two exchanged smiles. CR was glowing. It filled Chloe with joy to see her friend so happy.

“Denise and I thought it would suit us better to hang with friends instead of having bachelorette parties,” she explained. “I’m glad that we could take this as an opportunity to reunite, and your support means the world to both of us. So...Thank you again, and I can’t wait to see all of your lovely faces again tomorrow. We’re going to have a blast. That’s all.”

CR clasped her hands together, smiling bashfully as a chorus of ‘awww’s rang in response to her short speech.

“Anything for you, CR,” Stacie said, beaming.

“Group hug!” Flo chimed in. Something of a domino effect happened as the girls all squished beside each other in the booth, smothering Cynthia Rose between them and resulting in a fit of giggles.

“Aren’t we missing people?” Emily asked once they were back in order. “Where’s Fat Amy? And Beca?”

“Are they not coming?” Chloe added, trying to appear casual as murmurs of mutual concern swept around the table.

“Not to worry, girls,” Cynthia Rose said, putting her hands up to calm them. “Beca and Fat Amy are flying in tomorrow morning. Amy told me they weren’t able to get a flight earlier than an overnight.”

Chloe immediately loosened at the news, letting out a small breath of relief. As much as she had been excited about seeing everyone else, what she had been nervous about for months was seeing Beca again, and after they all arrived she’d been nowhere to be found. As much as she just wanted to live in the moment and enjoy the time she had with the girls, all her mind had been stuck on since they’d gotten to the restaurant was where Beca was and if she was even coming to the wedding at all.

She was glad to know that she and Amy were going to be there, though the thought of finally reuniting with her still had her stomach tied up in knots. Since she had no idea how it would turn out, she could only be apprehensive and want to just get it over with.

Chloe had waited months, years leading up to this moment—she just couldn’t stand not knowing any longer.

 

* * *

 

**Los Angeles, CA**

10:23 p.m. PST

 

“Beca, will you calm down already?”

“I’m sorry,” Beca said, rolling her palms down her thighs. “I can’t help it.”

She had been fidgeting like mad during their entire car ride and Fat Amy had become increasingly frustrated with her. She honestly couldn’t blame her for it. They’d set off at ten to get to the airport in time for their 12:30 a.m. flight. It was four and a half hours overnight, and with the three hour time difference, they were scheduled to arrive in Atlanta around 8 a.m.

“Am I going to need to give you a tranquilizer or something before we get onto the plane?” Amy asked, side eying her. “You’re going to keep everyone else up and then everyone’s going to be pissed off, and then _I’m_ going to have to deal with a horde of cranky passengers because you just can’t keep it in your pants long enough for us to get there.”

Beca blinked at her, mouth gaping open.

“I—” she sputtered, trying to speak, but words seemed to escape her. “What are you talking about? Keep it in my pants? Who, what—”

“Oh come on, Beca. I wasn’t born yesterday. You’ve been like this for the past two weeks because you’re just _so_ excited to bone Chloe again,” Amy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“What? _Again_ ?” Beca repeated, incredulous. “I’ve never—me and Chloe, we, we haven’t done anything, _ever_!”

“Beca, it’s okay. Seriously. The jig is up. We all know your secret, you don’t have to lie to our faces anymore. I mean, just look at Cynthia Rose. Gay is a-ok _ay_.”

“Amy, I’m serious,” Beca pleaded to her. “We’ve never done anything. We’re just friends, I swear.”

“Mm, okay. Sure. And I’m a virgin,” Amy deadpanned.

“Ha! Good one, babe,” Bumper called from the front.

“Don’t call me babe.” Amy said, looking mildly disturbed.

“Okay,” Bumper said, straightening up in his seat and clearing his throat.

Beca groaned, leaning her elbows on her knees and putting her face in her hands.

“You’re impossible.”

“At least I got you to relax,” Amy countered.

“I’m not relaxed,” Beca muttered, rubbing at her temples.

“Alright, well, if you’re not gay for Chloe, then why are you so freaked out?”

“I already told you,” Beca said, sighing as she sat up. “It’s my fault that we haven’t talked in months and I’m not sure if she’ll even want anything to do with me anymore.”

“Oh, right,” Amy said, watching the road from her spot beside Beca in the backseat. “Well you need to relax, Beca. I mean, really. I doubt Chloe’s going to hate your guts. It’s just not like her.”

“I know,” Beca agreed, her stomach still churning. “I’m still nervous, though. I miss her so much and I just want to make things right between us.”

“Ugh,” Amy looked at her, cringing in disgust. “Please, spare me from your sappy shit. And you wonder why everyone thinks you’re a lesbian.”

Beca pouted, sitting back in her seat in defeat, her arms across her chest.

It was going to be a long night.

 

* * *

 

**Atlanta, GA**

8:37 a.m. EST

 

Beca and Amy emerged from their gate at Hartsfield-Jackson both half-asleep and hardly functioning, both wearing sunglasses to shield their eyes from the already blazing sun.

It had been a rough night, as predicted. Beca had hardly slept at all between her rampant anxiety and Fat Amy snoring beside her. Her head felt fuzzy and her eyes were tired and strained, but somehow the principal thing she was concerned about was seeing Chloe later. The realization that it would finally be happening in just a few short hours sent her heart slamming itself against her rib cage, her adrenaline spiking. She would be seeing her before the day’s end.

Her stomach twisted nervously. Would she be happy to see her? Or would it be the opposite? She wouldn’t know until they at last came face to face, but her fear of the unknown was slowly but surely driving her mad. She just couldn’t wait to see her again and finally pour out all of the things that had been weighing on her since they’d lost touch so many months ago.

The thought of talking to Chloe again was the only thing that was still maintaining what was left of Beca’s sanity. Just imagining being in her presence again was enough to calm her down enough that she was able to function again. Even if Chloe would be upset with her, thinking about looking into those stunning blue eyes again made her feel like everything would be okay.

And maybe everything would be okay. Beca could only hope.

 

They took a cab from the airport to their hotel, which was the one Cynthia Rose had designated for family and friends to stay at who were coming from out of town. Both of them still half-dead, they checked in and begrudgingly lugged their bags up to their room.

“Okay,” Beca announced once they’d gotten in, flipping her suitcase open on the floor. “We need to hang up our dresses because they’re going to be wrinkled. It’s almost ten now and the wedding is at two thirty, so we should probably start getting ready around twelve, twelve thirty maybe? Amy? Amy—”

Beca looked up to see that Amy had collapsed on the bed and was now passed out, snoring. She sighed, shaking her head as she hung up her own dress, then opened Amy’s suitcase and did the same for hers.

She stood back and looked at her friend, blissfully asleep. Sleep sounded _so_ good…

“Okay, maybe I’ll just nap for a little while,” she said to herself, climbing up onto the other bed.

The moment her head hit the pillow, she dozed off in almost no time.  


Beca awoke with a start, shooting straight up out of bed. She had passed out completely and alarmingly felt like she’d been asleep for ages. She grabbed her phone to check the time. It was after one.

“Fuck!” she yelped, throwing the covers off of her. “Amy, come on! We have to get up!”

A strangled groan came from her friend’s side of the room, her face buried into the pillow.

“Huh? What’s going on?” Amy mumbled, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Where are we?”

“We’re in Atlanta for Cynthia Rose’s wedding which starts in an hour and a half, and we still have to take a cab there,” Beca told her, forcing her own body to move even though she was still stiff from sleep.

“Oh, shit,” Amy said, pushing herself to the edge of the bed. “Well we’ve got to get ready!”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Beca said. She would have laughed if she hadn’t been so damn anxious. “We don’t have time to shower, but I’ve got dry shampoo.”

“Thank the lord,” Amy said, finally getting to her feet.

The two of them got to work quickly, brushing their teeth and washing their faces side by side in the bathroom while the flat and curling irons heated up. They frantically ran brushes through their hair and attempted to make themselves look well-groomed, both stripped down to their underwear.

They put on their dresses, leaving makeup last. Beca worked to apply her eyeliner as quickly as she could without slipping up. After some quick foundation and bronzer, a light blush and some mascara, she chose a dusty red lipstick to compliment her navy blue cocktail dress.

“Okay, what’s the time,” Beca said to herself, checking her phone. “Just about two. Okay, we’re making good time.”

After pulling on their heels and grabbing their clutches, they at last rushed to the hotel lobby to call a car.

 

The golf club where the wedding was being held was a little ways’ more out in the country; about twenty minutes from their hotel. Beca was on edge the entire way there, staring out the window and fidgeting endlessly.

“Please don’t tell me this is going to be a repeat of our flight,” Amy said, giving Beca a tortured look.

“Well it won’t be, considering we’ll only be in here for twenty minutes,” she replied, wringing her fingers together and resisting the urge to pick at her nail polish. “I’m sorry; I can’t help it.”

“Alright, look,” Amy said, putting her hand up with a sense of finality. “No one is going to hate you. It would be different if you were some kind of big shot music producer snob now—kind of like when you almost walked out on us that one time.”

Beca just stared at her, her expression betraying her thoughts of how exactly this was supposed to be helping.

“But once they see that you’re the same old Beca, just with incredibly poor communication skills, everyone will be happy to see you again.”

“Thanks…I think?” Beca said, wondering if that was more of a diss or a compliment.

“I can’t wait for this to be over with honestly,” Amy continued in her thickly accented monotone. “I know you’re all hung up on Chloe, but good god—”

“I’m not hung up on Chloe,” Beca maintained, folding her arms across her chest. “She’s my friend, or _was_ my friend at least, and it’s very nerve-wracking that I haven’t seen her in such a long time.”

“Yeah, yeah; excuses excuses, Mitchell,” Amy said, waving her off again. “I’m going to make a bet with someone that you’ll jump each other’s bones by the end of the weekend. That’ll be an easy twenty bucks.”

Beca rolled her eyes, sitting back in her seat with a sigh. Once Amy was convinced of something, there was no going back. Trying to argue was pointless.

 

They arrived in the nick of time, just minutes before it was scheduled to start. The ceremony was being held outside, with the backdrop of the sweeping golf course behind them. It was a bright sunny day, the willow trees surrounding them providing some shade as they swayed gently in the wind. Being November, the weather was an even sixty-eight degrees: not too hot, not too cold.

It was a gorgeous day, and the ceremony setup was beautiful—but Beca couldn’t bring herself to focus on any of that just yet. She was looking around frantically, keeping her eyes peeled for Chloe or any of the Bellas, yet to no avail. The area was packed with Cynthia Rose and Denise’s friends and family, and none of the girls were anywhere to be seen.

“Do you see any of them?” Beca asked Amy, trying to angle herself to see over people’s heads.

“No,” Amy said, making Beca’s shoulders slump in defeat. If Amy, who was an entire half a foot taller couldn’t see them, they were pretty much out of luck. “They’re probably up closer to the front.”

“Do you think we have any chance of getting up there?” Beca asked, doubtful. She usually wasn’t one to be sentimental, but she would have liked for all of them to be sitting together during the ceremony. Moreover, she didn’t want any of them thinking that her and Amy hadn’t shown up, especially not Cynthia Rose.

“I doubt it,” Amy said, already looking uncomfortable at the swarms of people crowding the area. “Let’s just get seats where we can find them. We don’t have time for pleasantries anyway; it’s about to start.”

Reluctantly Beca followed her into the seating area. Their timing was perfect, as the music started just as they were taking their seats. For the amount of people present, it was amazing how quickly everyone managed to sit. Just a minute or two later, the procession began.

First came the bridesmaids, walking in pairs side by side. The colours were blush and black, with accents of a brighter pink in the girls’ bouquets and the flowers decorating the edges of the aisle. After the two maids of honor came Cynthia Rose, looking sharp in her tux and bright pink tie. She was all smiles as her dad led her arm-in-arm down the aisle, who stood by at the altar waiting to hand her off. The ring bearer and flower girl came hand-in-hand, cute as ever carrying a sign that said ‘Here she comes…’

They stood, all turning to look down the aisle for Denise. She emerged on the arm of her father, looking stunning in her traditional white dress. Beca turned to look at CR, who was adorably tearing up at the sight of her bride.

She couldn’t help but smile as Denise reached the altar and their fathers shook hands before handing their daughters off to each other. Cynthia Rose was beaming, and never took her eyes off of Denise. It warmed Beca’s heart to see her so happy.

As the officiant began, her mind began to wander. When it came to romance, Beca was no expert. In fact, she’d been single since she’d dumped Jesse years ago and had had little to no desire to date anybody else. It was partially due to the fact that since being in LA, she’d simply been too busy to even spare a thought in that department—but even more than that, she was perfectly happy being alone. She’d always been independent, and this stage in her life was no different. Having another person around, with feelings and romance and expectations all in the mix just seemed like much more than she was prepared to deal with.

But seeing Cynthia Rose and Denise exchanging their vows made her think. She hadn’t been to a wedding in years—she tended to avoid them like the plague, finding them boring and overly sappy. But there was something about seeing her friend so happy with someone that meant the world to her that stirred something inside her.

She’d never understood love. She couldn’t begin to understand the concept of caring for someone so much that you’d vow to spend the rest of your life by their side. But upon seeing them together, part of her began to wonder what that was like. What it was like to have someone you’d do anything for, who would do anything for you in return.

 _Who am I?_ Beca thought to herself, mildly disturbed at how emotional she’d been lately. Maybe she was PMSing.

“By the power vested in me by the State of Georgia, I now pronounce you bound by civil union. You may kiss your bride.”

The declaration from the officiant snapped Beca from her thoughts and back to reality just in time to see Cynthia Rose and Denise share their first kiss as wives. She couldn’t help but smile like an idiot again at the happy couple, joining in the applause from the cheering guests as they all stood to see them back down the aisle.

As soon as the party had made their way out, swarms of people almost immediately crowded the area, consequently blocking Amy and Beca’s line of vision once again.

“Great,” Beca muttered, putting her hands on her hips as she tried to peek over the heads again. “How are we supposed to figure out where they are now?”

“C’mon,” Amy said, grabbing her hand. “We’re gonna push our way through.”

“Oh God,” Beca frowned, cringing at the idea of being in such close proximity with so many unknown people.

“Excuse me, coming through,” Amy called out, dragging Beca behind her. They made their way through with some difficulty before they reached a break in the crowd which seemed to separate the back and front halves of the seating area. “Okay, they should be around here somewhere.”

Beca scanned the area, this time having a much clearer view. People were milling around and chatting in smaller groups. One of them had to be the Bellas.

Her heart skipped a beat when she caught sight of a head of bright red hair. She laughed and turned her head, looking in Beca’s direction, and a pair of familiar blue eyes found hers.

Beca took in a sharp breath as her heart hammered in her chest, her own deep blue eyes growing wide at the sight of the redhead. A hesitant but bright smile spread across her face as she began walking towards her.

 _Shit,_ Beca thought. _Here we go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the suspense! Stay tuned for more. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm Maddy, Nicole's girlfriend. We have both worked really hard on this fic so far and are so thankful for all of the feedback/views. Until this point, Nicole has been exclusively writing the fic with me mostly editing and providing ideas. This chapter though I decided to try my hand at actually writing. I had a great time writing this chapter and will probably continue to write alongside Nicole in the future. Nicole and I love feedback so all is very much appreciated! I hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> Hey everyone, Nicole here. Maddy will probably be annoyed at me for adding in my two cents but I just wanted to say that I'm super excited for you all to read this chapter. It's the first time we actually collaborated on a chapter since Maddy wrote a lot of the content, and I'm really proud of how it turned out! And even more proud of her for going outside of her comfort zone. :) We hope you'll like it! ❤️

Just like that, Chloe Beale had slipped out of her conversation and was headed in her direction.

Beca's heart was pounding.

 _Okay, stay cool_ , she told herself, trying to appear unbothered. She could already tell that it wasn't working.

It happened so quickly. In one moment they were in their two different worlds, and in the next their eyes had locked, bridging them together once again. In a single instant, all of the distance between them closed with one simple glance.

Chloe had looked at her, and there had been a brief moment of shock; of hesitation. There are few, if any words to explain how it feels to lay eyes on someone who has been missing from your life for years, especially someone who once meant so much.

But Chloe had smiled at her—like, actually smiled at her—and Beca felt like she might throw up.

She managed a smile back, or at least hoped she had, and Chloe excused herself from her conversation to make her way through the crowd, a new flicker of hope shining in her eyes.

Beca stood rooted to the ground as Chloe made her way through the crowd, staring at her in a dazed shock. There were plenty of other people surrounding her, but all Beca could see was Chloe.

Chloe passed by the last few people, and suddenly they found themselves standing opposite each other. Face to face, for the first time in over two years.

Beca was suddenly brought back to that day in the airport; the last time she had grasped Chloe's hand, looked into those blue eyes, felt her heart beat against hers as she held her close in her arms.

Beca wanted to speak, but the words seemed to be caught in her throat.

"Hi," Chloe said, her fingers fiddling with the strap of her handbag. She was biting her lip back in that adorable way she always did whenever she was feeling unsure. Beca felt like her heart might beat right out of her chest just at the sight of her.

"Hi," she forced out, her stomach flipping with her nerves. She took Chloe in, her eyes raking over her, wanting to memorize every little detail for her to remember later. "You look…great."

"Thanks," she said, shyly tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as a slight blush crept upon her cheeks. "So do you."

Chloe really did look breathtaking in her soft blue dress, which coincidentally matched Beca's and nicely complimented both her hair and eyes. She did seem like she'd changed in her appearance, though the differences were subtle. She was still the same old Chloe, stunning as ever, but her face had matured slightly. She seemed to hold herself with more regard; she was confident, but careful. She took herself more seriously, Beca could tell. Her eyes didn't seem to shine quite as bright as they had two years prior.

Beca smiled back at her once she had drank her all in. It hardly seemed like enough.

"Thanks," she said, feeling her own face grow warm. "So…where's everyone else?"

"They're around," Chloe said, a tone of hesitation in her voice. She didn't make any motion to look around for them, her gaze still trained on Beca.

"Beca!" a familiar voice suddenly called from behind, snapping the two of them from their invisible bubble. "Becaaaa!"

Beca turned just in time to see Stacie coming for her, who proceeded to wrap her arms around her and smother her in an involuntary hug.

"It's been forever! How are you?" she asked her, pulling away to look down at her admiringly.

"I—great. It's been great, Stace," Beca said, hating that she had to actually tilt her head back in order to look at her face. "I'm loving the hair!"

"Thanks," she said, tossing it playfully over her shoulder. She was back to her natural dark brown, this time with a few caramel highlights mixed in. "I decided to combine the old with the new."

"Beca," Aubrey said as she walked up, nodding to her. "Nice to see you."

"You too," Beca said, smiling awkwardly as Fat Amy rejoined them, her arms around Emily and Lily. Ashley, Jessica and Flo caught up from behind.

"We're all back together again," Emily gushed, looking round their circle with gratitude shining in her eyes.

"It's so great to see all of you," Beca continued, wringing her fingers together. "I'm sorry I haven't been the best at keeping in touch. I've kind of been the worst, actually, and you guys deserved so much better from me. It's been crazy ever since I got to LA, and I could try to make excuses all I want but I know it wouldn't make anything better, so…I just hope that you'll be able to forgive me."

Beca looked at Chloe as she said the last words, their eyes locking. She had always been terrible at apologies, amongst various other things. To her relief, the girls didn't seem too mad at her, so she hoped that her words would suffice.

Chloe, on the other hand, was a different story. Beca knew that in order to make things right between them again, a proper explanation was the first step. Chloe deserved a proper apology, and so much more than that. Beca wasn't sure if she would ever be able to make it up to her.

"I guess we can forgive you," Aubrey said with the authority of the natural-born leader she was. "Ladies?"

"I suppose," Flo said, coming forward and putting her arm around Beca. "So long as it doesn't happen again."

Beca let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding in, letting a grin inch across her face.

"I'll try my best, but I make no promises," she said, giving Flo a slight bump with her shoulder. The girls all laughed along. She was glad that they didn't seem to hate her, or even be a little angry—and despite all of her worries, it somehow felt like no time had passed between them.

But Beca was still perfectly aware of the dense air between her and the redhead standing to her right. Thick with words that still need to be said; a conversation that needed to be had. Chloe was trying to be happy about the whole situation, Beca could tell.

But now was not the time for them to talk.

"Well," Aubrey said, clapping her hands together, "We should probably head up. I think cocktail hour is starting."

Everyone murmured in approval as Fat Amy made a beeline towards the double doors that lead to the reception hall.

"I saw them handing out some stuffed shrimp and I need to get into that before they run out," she said as she picked up her pace, walking slightly ahead of the rest of the group.

Beca let out a snort at their friend as they entered the hall. It was a large open room with round tables set up behind a vacant area for the dance floor. Towards the front of the room was a four-tier stand holding frosted rose- and gold-coloured cupcakes in the place of a traditional wedding cake. There were paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling and elegant flower centerpieces at the tables. Each different than the last, but still complimenting the theme of the decorations in the room.

"Daaamn, this is nice," Stacie whistled as the Bellas scoped the area for their table.

There was already a crowd of people at the bar getting drinks and Beca realized she desperately needed to get a little alcohol in her system before she chickened out and fled back to her and Amy's hotel room. She was the first to spot a nearby table with a card next to the centerpiece that read 'Bellas' in a pink script font.

"Shit yeah, our table is closest to the bar," Fat Amy said, seeming to reappear out of nowhere, holding a plate filled with stuffed shrimp and some other finger food that Beca couldn't identify.

Beca took her seat first. She was hoping that Chloe would sit next to her, but at the same time wishing that she wouldn't. She missed Chloe. But she also missed how things were with Chloe, and Beca had a lot of apologizing to do before there was even a chance of them being the way they used to be again. And until then, things between them were bound to be tense and a little awkward. There was so much that they both needed to say, but at the moment it wasn't the time or place to get into it.

Beca tried her best to appear casual without making eye contact as Chloe slid into the seat next to her. But she couldn't help herself, and suddenly became lost in the bright blue eyes that once felt like home.

Chloe turned and leaned toward Aubrey trying to hear whatever she was saying over the noise of the crowded bar. In the same motion, Chloe reached under the table and gave Beca's hand a small squeeze. Her breath hitched in her throat at the sudden contact, and after a quick glance and a smile, Chloe had pulled her hand away and had occupied herself with taking a selfie with Flo and Aubrey.

The gesture was small, but it sent a message that lifted a weight off of Beca's shoulders. Chloe knew what Beca was thinking, and Beca knew that Chloe was thinking the same thing. Chloe had always been able to read her like a book. She was the only person in Beca's entire life that her walls weren't able to keep out, which had become the thing Beca both loved and hated the most about her.

With a newfound lightheartedness, Beca stood from her chair.

"Alright, well, I'm headed to the bar. Anyone want a drink?" The question was directed at the entire table, but her gaze was fixed on Chloe.

"Yes, please. I'm too sober," Stacie announced, heading towards the bar without looking back at the rest of them. Flo, Jessica, and Ashley followed close behind her.

"You guys go, I'm good with just water," Emily said in her usual chipper tone, taking a sip of one of the glasses that was already sitting at the table.

"Legacy, don't be such a damn buzzkill," Amy said, pulling her out of her chair and into the ever-growing crowd at the bar.

"What? I just want to remember the moment—" Emily protested, pouting as she was dragged away.

"Chloe?" Beca asked, "Want a drink?"

"Uh, sure, yeah," Chloe answered with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Beca wanted to ask if anything was wrong, but figured it wasn't the right time. She made a mental note to ask her whenever they finally had a chance to really talk.

When they finally reached the bar, Beca walked up to the counter and attempted to get the bartender's attention in the swarm of people. When one finally caught her eye, he walked up to her.

"Whatcha havin', ma'am?" he asked in a thick Georgia accent.

"A whiskey on the rocks for me," Beca said before turning her gaze to the redhead standing behind her. Beca gave Chloe a grin, who rolled her eyes back at her. Beca bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. "And a cosmo for the lady."

She heard Chloe give out a short but loud "Ha!" before she turned around with their drinks in her hands.

"You're a freak," Chloe sighed as Beca handed her her drink, evidently suppressing a grin.

"Yeah, but you love it," Beca smirked as she took a sip of the amber liquid.

She had a feeling she would need all of the courage she could get.

 

* * *

 

Chloe took a sip of her water and wiped her mouth with her napkin. The food was delicious; she had ordered the chicken entree and was thoroughly enjoying it. The Bellas had fallen silent around the table for a moment, each of them focusing on the food in front of them. She was grateful for the lack of conversation so she could be left with her thoughts and reflect on the happenings of the night so far.

The wedding had been beautiful and the reception hall they were currently sitting in was gorgeous. Chloe had been misty eyed for the entire ceremony until the kiss at the end when the tears finally rolled down her cheeks. Aubrey had laughed at her and went in search of the other Bellas since none of them were sitting together. She had taken that time alone to scan the ceremony space for the girl she had been waiting to see. The one who made her heart skip a beat at the idea of finally being able to talk to and laugh with and hug her again. The one real, true reason Chloe even came to the wedding in the first place.

And then there she was. Dark, stormy blue eyes had cut through the crowd from across the way, finding Chloe. It was as if there was some sort of gravitational pull between them that made it impossible for them to ignore each other when they were near. There was the girl who had been on her mind since the last time they saw each other over two years ago.

There was Beca.

Her mouth went dry and her palms turned sweaty, but Chloe couldn't help but smile at her. There was Beca.  _Her_  Beca. Her best friend.

 _Except_ , she thought,  _What if she's different? What if she's changed?_

Chloe had been absent from Beca's life for two years. There must be so much she didn't know about her anymore, so many things she had missed. She feared that 'her' Beca wasn't 'her' Beca at all. What if she was a different person altogether? What if she hated her? What if she didn't want anything to do with her at all?

 _What if she's dating someone?_ Chloe thought, the idea striking her out of nowhere. For some reason the idea of Beca with a boyfriend made her nauseous. She put down her fork, suddenly not hungry anymore.

As if on cue, Cynthia Rose and Denise walked up to the Bellas' table, hand-in-hand.

"Thanks so much for coming, guys. It wouldn't have been the same without you all here," Cynthia Rose said, glowing from the events of the day.

"Everything looks so beautiful!" Flo practically screamed.

"Yeah, and the bartender is super hot," Stacie added, shooting a predatory look in the direction of the bar. Chloe rolled her eyes and stood up to give CR and Denise a hug.

"Congratulations, both of you. Thanks so much for having us," she said between hugs.

"Wouldn't have had it any other way," CR replied with a smile. "I'll see you guys later. Enjoy the rest of the night. And don't get too drunk!" she called over her shoulder as her and Denise walked towards the other tables to greet the rest of the guests.

"Too late!" Beca called out as she finished off her third glass of whiskey. Chloe had never seen Beca legitimately drunk before, but she was sure she couldn't have been anything more than tipsy.

Just as she was about to sit back down, the lights went down and the DJ in the corner of the room started up, a loud hip-hop song coming in over the speakers. The girls grabbed their drinks and headed out to the dance floor: cheering, laughing and already slightly drunk. Chloe smiled at the sight of Ashley and Jessica smashing Emily between them and grinding into her.

She had missed her Bellas and was over the moon that they were all able to be together on this special night. But something was wrong. Something was off with Chloe and she couldn't quite figure out what it was. She began to notice it about a year ago. She had started feeling less and less like her perky, optimistic self. When she looked in the mirror, her eyes didn't shine as bright as they used to. She attributed it to missing Atlanta and the Bellas. But here she was, in Atlanta with her Bellas again and she still felt the same way.

The realization was sobering, hitting her as she sat back down in her chair. Her body suddenly felt numb, and her stomach twisted with worry. This was supposed to be her chance to feel normal again. She had waited so long for this weekend, having counted down to it ever since she received the save the date card in the mail. Everything was going well, and the rest of the girls seemed to be having a great time. So why wasn't she?

Chloe was so absorbed by her own thoughts that she hadn't realized that Beca was still sitting beside her, watching her, the rest of the table now vacant. She was the only other one of the group who hadn't rushed over to the dance floor.

"Chloe?" she asked tentatively, snapping her from her trance. She looked up to see Beca staring at her, a concerned frown on her lips. "Are you okay?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah," Chloe said in a rush, waving her hand as if to brush her off. "I'm fine. I was just, uh, thinking."

"Okay," Beca said, offering a slight smile. "You don't want to go dance?"

Chloe shrugged, feeling her stomach twist again.

"Maybe later," she said, trying to return Beca's smile. "I'm, uh…still really full from dinner."

"Okay, yeah, that's totally understandable," Beca said, nodding vigorously.

Chloe couldn't help the grin that snuck onto her lips. She could tell that Beca wasn't totally buying it, and as a result she was trying to to appear genuinely concerned and empathetic, which was just  _not_ her strong suit at all. It was sweet that she was trying to be caring, and Chloe appreciated it—but they both knew that Beca simply didn't know how. It was both adorable and hilarious to see her try.

"What?" Beca asked her, her eyebrow arching up, seeing her grin. "What's so funny?"

Chloe had to stifle a giggle, then rushed to compose herself.

"Nothing, nothing," she assured her, pressing her lips together quickly to keep her from laughing. Beca just looked even more skeptical, her brow arching further as another giggle escaped Chloe's lips.

Maybe things would be okay after all.

Beca's expression softened, and she smiled back at Chloe. A different look passed over her as they gazed at each other, one that was slightly more solemn and searching. Chloe's stomach fluttered nervously.

"Chloe, look," Beca said softly, leaning towards her. "I already said my piece to everyone else, and that was enough for them. But there's a lot that's still left unsaid between us, and you deserve a proper explanation, even though there's really no excuse for what I did…I just hope you'll hear me out."

Chloe stared at Beca, momentarily stunned into silence. She had never seen this side of her, her dark blue eyes betraying an honesty and vulnerability that Beca rarely, if ever, let anyone see. It was almost enough to bring Chloe to tears when she thought about how much she must care about making things right between them if she was willing to put herself out there like this. In all the time that Chloe had known her, Beca had scarcely shown this side of her, even when it was just the two of them. Despite the fact that they were best friends, Chloe often felt like she had hardly even scratched the surface of the walls that Beca had built around herself, only letting bits and pieces of her sensitivity show from time to time.

She couldn't even begin to express it at the moment, but just the fact that Beca was making this stride for her and for their friendship made Chloe's heart swell with affection and gratitude. She knew how hard it must have been for Beca to put herself out there like this, and it truly meant the world to Chloe that she cared that much.

"Of course," Chloe told her, her eyes misty. "That would really mean a lot to me, Beca."

"Okay, good." she smiled back at her, an expression of relief passing over her features. "Do you want to maybe go somewhere where it's not as loud?"

"Yeah, okay," Chloe nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. It was too early to tell if she was truly different, but so far the changes she saw in Beca were only positive. This Beca was thoughtful and considerate. To the rest of the world, she may have seemed like the same sarcastic and guarded girl she had always been. But to Chloe, this version of her made her heart soar with happiness.

Beca led the way through a side door onto a balcony Chloe hadn't noticed before. She held the door open for Chloe and walked towards the railing, spreading her hands out across it as she looked out at the vast expanse of golf terrain. There was a slight chill in the air as the sun had just disappeared below the horizon, casting gorgeous pink and purple streaks all over the sky. Chloe had to fight the impulse to curl herself into Beca to keep warm, shivering slightly at the change in temperature. Instead she followed behind her, keeping her distance and waiting for her to speak.

It was silent for a few moments between them, and Beca still hadn't turned around to face her. Chloe could tell that she was tense about all of this, her fingers curling anxiously around the balcony rail. Even though she wanted to see Beca's face, she knew it was probably easier for her to say what she needed to without having to look her in the eyes.

"Chloe…" she finally started, so quietly that Chloe almost had to strain to hear her. "I'm really sorry. I—" she stopped suddenly, inhaling a breath as she straightened her back, "I'm really, really sorry, and I know that sounds like a load of crap, because what is 'sorry' going to do about anything…But I am."

Chloe stayed where she was, for a moment not knowing what to say. Seeing how crestfallen and hurt Beca was made her heart ache. She knew how hard this was for her, as letting her guard down was not something she did, if ever. It just went against Beca's nature. But she was trying; Chloe could see that. Just knowing that she was making an effort made her want to wrap her arms around her and push aside any bad feelings that may have still lingered between them.

"Beca, it's okay," Chloe said in a soft voice, not wanting to add to her hurt. It was then that Beca at last turned to face her, her blue eyes growing darker by the second.

"It's okay?" she repeated, incredulous. "It's not okay, Chlo. It's a lot of things, but 'okay' is not one of them. I promised to stay in touch. I promised to be a good friend to you. I promised that nothing would come between us and the second I got the LA that all went to shit!"

Beca was staring at her with an almost crazed look in her eyes. But all Chloe could do was stand there, wringing her fingers together. All she wanted was to reach out and pull her into her arms. It was clear that she had lost sleep over this, that she was hurting over it, and that upset Chloe more than anything else.

"I shouldn't have done that to you. To us," Beca murmured, averting her eyes.

"Then…Why did you?"

The words had left her mouth before she had a chance to stop them. She didn't want to upset Beca more than she already was. But the fact remained that that very question had burned in her mind for months, and now years. If anything at all, Chloe just wanted to know why.

But Beca didn't react. Her gaze shifted to her feet, but Chloe's eyes never left her. She could tell that Beca was battling as to whether she should tell Chloe the truth, or try to pass off a lie. Pausing for a moment longer, she took a deep, slow breath.

"It was just easier that way," she finally said.

"Easier?" Chloe asked, "How?"

"I missed you." Beca said, her eyes flickering to Chloe's. "I missed you so much, Chlo—it sounds so stupid but I never expected it to be that hard. I've never missed anyone like that. I've never really needed anyone else before. But all of the sudden I was in LA and it was supposed to be new and exciting and I was supposed to be fulfilling my dreams, but instead it was just lonely and unfamiliar, and you weren't there. It hurt not having anyone and it hurt not having you with me. The idea of only getting to text you or hear your voice without actually getting to be with you," she shook her head, "It was easier to just…push you away. And it wasn't right. I was selfish, and stupid, and it wasn't fair to you, Chlo. I am just so, so sorry."

Chloe hadn't realized there were tears in her eyes until she felt them roll down her cheeks. It hurt her to see Beca in so much pain over her, over their friendship. She remembered how hard it had been to say goodbye that day in the airport. She just wished she had known how hard it had been for Beca, too.

Chloe stepped towards her, at last giving into her urge to be near her.

"I'm not mad at you, Becs," she finally said. Beca looked up at her with big, round eyes and Chloe's heart almost burst with all the love she had for her best friend.

"I wasn't the greatest friend to you, either. I could have made more time for us, so I'm sorry, too. But I'm here now, and we have the rest of the weekend to catch up and try to make things right again," she offered with a smile.

Beca's eyes were still locked onto hers as Chloe walked up and took her hand in her own.

"We'll be alright," she told her, her smile meeting her eyes this time. Beca's gaze flickered from Chloe, to their locked hands, then back to Chloe. In that moment, there was a spark of electricity that shot between them. The kind that made Chloe's heart drop to her stomach. A spark that was sudden, unexpected, but undeniable. She could tell Beca felt it too by the way the brunette's eyes grew wider, and the way she swallowed with nervousness. Somehow there, looking into Beca's ocean blue eyes, was the happiest Chloe had been in a long time.

The sound of the door flying open made them both jump and retract their hands. The sudden lack of contact made Chloe frown.

"There you are!" Amy shouted drunkenly. "If you two are done making out, you should come back to the party. Everyone has been looking for the both of you for half an hour!"

"We weren't—oh my god," Beca said, rolling her eyes in her exasperation. "We weren't making out!"

Chloe couldn't help but laugh at the flustered look on Beca's face.

"Come on, we should get back inside anyway. It's getting kinda cold out here," Chloe said, grabbing Beca by the wrist and following Fat Amy inside.

All of the sudden Chloe was feeling light and carefree, now wanting nothing more than to join her Bellas on the dance floor. She held onto Beca, dragging her with her, knowing the brunette would never go on her own.

"Oh my god!" Aubrey cried, pushing through the crowd."Where have you guys been?! We've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Oh, we were just talking," Chloe replied, keeping her eyes on Beca. They smiled at each other, then back at Aubrey. "C'mon, let's dance!"

Chloe spent the rest of the night dancing and singing obnoxiously with the best friends she'd ever had. Every so often when she was feeling brave, she would back into Beca, grinding into her ever so slightly. She would get a small high off of the way Beca's eyes grew and how her cheeks flushed.

Four hours later when Chloe reached her hotel room, she stripped out of her dress and got ready for bed. She laid there, her feet aching from dancing in her heels, but Chloe was the happiest she had been in a long time. The happiest she'd been since going back to Oregon for vet school. And, she still had the rest of the weekend in Atlanta with her Bellas. With Beca.

As Chloe drifted off to sleep, she was the only thing on her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it may seem like we are taking things pretty slow so far, but it will be worth it! We have everything planned in our heads and we hope you all will continue along this Bechloe journey with us because the fun is just starting ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello! It's me, Nicole, again. If you're reading this, I'm so glad you're still here. I wrote the majority of this chapter, with a little help from Maddy near the end, and I'm happy to announce that the count is over 6k words, the most yet! ❤️ So hopefully it will make up for the long wait. Before you start, I just want to remind y'all that the initial scene is a flashback. Hope you enjoy, and thank you again for reading!

**July 13, 2018**

Los Angeles, CA

 

Beca rose from her slumber with a start, for a moment forgetting where she was. With the blanket clutched up to her chest, she slowly managed to relax as she made sense of her surroundings.

Instead of the warm familiarity of her cozy Atlanta apartment, she found herself on a mattress on the floor in a stark, off-white room surrounded by boxes piled up all around her.

It was all coming back to her, the memories from the previous day flooding back in. Getting to her apartment in LA. Her boxes of belongings arriving, having shipped from Atlanta. The flight there. The car ride with Chloe. Driving through Atlanta for the last time. Saying one last goodbye to her apartment. Walking away from her best friend in the airport…

Beca tucked her knees up to her chest, anxiety suddenly overwhelming her, tightening in her chest and making her grip the blanket in fists, her palms beginning to sweat. Yesterday she had been too busy and overwhelmed to process the changes. But now it was hitting her. She was in LA, a city she didn't know, in an apartment by herself, and she didn't know a single person.

She was completely and utterly alone.

Beca never would have imagined that the idea of being alone would bother her at all. But now that she was sitting there, for the first time ever being really and truly  _alone_ , it terrified her. The fear ran deep, electrifying her veins and making her feel small; vulnerable. Tears filled her eyes and for once, she didn't have to think about letting them fall. They just did.

She wouldn't have been able to stop them, even if she wanted to. Once she felt the tears trickle down her cheeks it was as if a dam broke down within her—the next thing she knew, she was sobbing violently into her blanket. It was hard to reason with herself that this was what she wanted, what she had planned when everything was so new and different and just downright terrifying. The worst part was, she knew that she would've been fine if she'd had someone with her. Anyone, really, to make the loneliness that had suddenly overcome her sting just a little less. But she had no one. And that reality in itself made Beca truly inconsolable.

Chloe would have known what to do. Beca could just picture her, bouncing on the mattress beside her, giddy with excitement to start the day. She would want to go out and see everything. She would know exactly how they should decorate the apartment. She would drag her out to explore the area for a good place to eat breakfast, because she  _knew_ there would be one somewhere. She would keep Beca busy enough that she'd be distracted enough from her own thoughts, not giving her time to dwell on past memories but making new ones instead. In every situation, she always looked at the bright side of things. Chloe would have found a way to make everything better. She always did.

And that was why Beca couldn't stand to be without her. She couldn't do this alone. Beca had never felt like she needed anyone. But now, she needed her best friend.

She needed Chloe.

 

* * *

 

 

**November 17, 2020**

Atlanta, GA

 

It was dark in the hotel room as Beca came to, the drapes at the window pulled tightly shut. She was groggy from sleep as she came to, and disoriented from her dream she had to remind herself of where she was.

She propped herself up on her elbows, rubbing the bridge of her nose. She had dreamt of the day she'd first arrived in LA, except it hadn't been through her own perspective. It had been as if she was outside of her own body, watching herself. It had been that, laced with other memories from her earlier days adjusting to LA as well as flashbacks from the previous night.

It was no wonder why she felt so confused—the vividness of her flashbacks combined with the realization that it had been a dream made her question the accuracy of her reunion with Chloe. But, she realized upon shifting further into consciousness, what she remembered had been real.

Unlike what she had feared, Chloe hadn't hated her. She had seemed a little different at first, a little more distant, but as the night bore on she seemed more and more like herself again. Beca remembered being scared that she would shut her out, but then she had taken her hand under the table to reassure her. She'd agreed to talk with her and listened as Beca poured her heart out to her with an almost tearful apology. And miraculously, she had forgiven her. Beca vividly remembered the way she had felt when Chloe took her hand in hers, butterflies filling her stomach again just at the thought of it.

After that, Chloe seemed to transform back into her true self, dragging her to the dance floor where they spent the rest of the night. They'd had a great time with the rest of the girls, singing and acting like lunatics. She and Chloe had even shared a little drunken slow dance, with Chloe's arms around her neck and Beca's on her waist, subjecting themselves to badgering and hollering from the girls making a fuss over them, squealing to each other whilst placing various bets on when they would finally kiss and sleep with each other.

But they had ignored it all, choosing to focus on themselves in their quiet bubble where only the two of them existed. It was one of Beca's fonder memories of the night, smiling to herself at the thought. Her grin stretched even further at the realization that they still had another full day in Atlanta.

A full day that she would get to spend with Chloe.

 

Beca and Amy took another cab to the restaurant where the Bellas planned to have breakfast. They all met up in the parking lot, save from Cynthia Rose who had left for her honeymoon the previous night, all excited to see each other even though they'd been separated for only mere hours.

Beca's eyes locked with a certain redhead's as she stepped out of the cab. Her grin lit up her whole face, making Beca's heart skip a beat as she smiled effortlessly back.

Chloe walked up to her as everyone else filed into the restaurant, seemingly oblivious to the moment the two of them were sharing. Despite their late night, she seemed even more beautiful than before, her skin glowing and her eyes shining bright.

"Hey," Beca said as Chloe reached her, almost having to bite back the huge grin threatening to splay itself across her face.

Chloe just smiled, a familiar twinkle in her eyes as she reached up and pecked Beca on the cheek, causing her face to flush beet red. Grinning even wider at the sight of her, she took Beca's hand and pulled her towards the restaurant, leaving the brunette both flustered and a little bit stunned for words.

They walked inside and made their way to the Bellas' table, all the while with Chloe holding her close to her to shield their intertwined hands from the girls' view.

"There you are," Amy said at the sight of them. "We saved seats beside each other for you two lovers."

Chloe just grinned while Beca flushed even redder.

"Thanks!" Chloe said as they took their seats, letting go of her hand for the time being. She loved this sort of attention, Beca could tell.

"We're not—you know what, whatever," Beca sputtered, attempting to hide her embarrassment by propping her menu up in her face.

The girls laughed.

"She's not even denying it anymore," Stacie giggled, prompting more laughter from the table. "You're going to owe me big time, Amy."

"Mm, nope, actually," Amy said matter-of-factly. "She slept in our room last night. Like I said, if they've waited this long, who knows when they'll actually—"

"Guys! Can we maybe like, not discuss my sex life when we're about to eat breakfast?" Beca burst out from behind her menu, her eyes feeling like they were about to bug out of her head. The more time she spent with the Bellas, the less things seemed to surprise her.

She rolled her eyes when there were only more hushed giggles from the table.

"She's tense," Amy leant forward towards Stacie, speaking in a hoarse whisper that everyone could still hear. "Maybe Chloe can help, you know, loosen her up."

Beca rolled her eyes, dropping her menu again to shoot a death glare at Amy as everyone else burst out laughing—even Chloe beside her.

Beca looked at her friend, practically pouting with a look that said,  _Not you too?_

But Chloe just smiled at her, her gaze softening as Beca felt her hand reach for hers, instantly calming her as she intertwined their fingers, similarly to the way she had the night before.

Except this time, she didn't let go.

 

* * *

 

Their afternoon was occupied by a shopping excursion in the city centre—after all, how else would they think to spend a bright, sunny day in Atlanta?

Beca and Chloe hung back from the group just enough that it was subtle, neither wanting to get too wound-up in all the excitement. Half the fun was watching the way everyone interacted with each other while engaging in their own private side conversations, offering input when needed. The two of them had a lot to catch up on, and Chloe wanted to know all of it. She was itching to know what Beca's life had been like since the two had lost touch.

"So, I know you've been crazy busy with work, but the question is, do you actually like it?" Chloe asked her. They were walking through a scenic area downtown, eating gelato out of paper cups.

"Good question," Beca said, grinning as she tapped her lip with her spoon. "I do like it, a lot. It is really stressful, and really time consuming, and I'm insanely busy all the time, but at the end of the day I'm still doing what I love. Which is a pretty cool feeling."

"That's great, Beca," Chloe said, smiling genuinely. "That's what matters most, right? That you're doing something you love?"

"Yeah," Beca said, nodding. "I mean, in the music industry it's important to work hard. Especially when you're trying to make it and get your name out there, you really have to put in that extra effort. But this weekend has made me think. I'm already doing well, and I'm not saying that I should slack off, but maybe take it a little easier. I really needed this break. Seeing all of you guys and being away from LA really helped me to get my mind off of work and bring things into perspective."

"It does sound like you've been working really hard," Chloe said, her expression filled with a gentle concern. "I'm so glad that you could come. I was almost afraid that you wouldn't."

"I wouldn't have missed this for anything," Beca told her, looking into her eyes with honesty. "It's been too long…I should've kept in touch. I feel like the most horrible person ever for just dropping off the face of the earth like that."

"Don't," Chloe told her, shaking her head. "Things happen, Beca. Life happens, and no one's perfect. Some of us are just better at communicating than others."

Beca arched a brow at her, causing Chloe to giggle.

"Are you sassing me, Beale? Here I am, trying to have a serious conversation…"

Chloe laughed.

"No, I'm serious! I meant that. I really don't want you to feel bad," she told her, her features softening as she reached out to touch her wrist. "I did miss you, though."

_A lot._

"I missed you, too," Beca said quietly, staring at the ground. "I'm sorry…"

"Hey, it's okay," Chloe told her, rubbing her arm. "No more apologies, okay? It's behind us now."

"If you say so," Beca said, offering a small smile. Chloe smiled back, wrapping her arm around her waist and tilting her head against her shoulder in a small hug as they continued walking.

"How about you?" Beca asked after a couple of beats. "How's school going?"

Chloe stopped, for a moment put off by the question. She hesitated, looking down at her ice cream, for some reason not knowing how to answer.

"It's…good," she said, nodding. "I've been really busy, that's for sure. And now that I'm in my third year I have clinicals, too."

"Do you like it?"

Chloe bit her lip, her mind instantly flashing back to the small college town of Corvallis, Oregon, where the most exciting thing to do was going hiking in one of the vast forests that surrounded them. Clinicals were hectic, exhausting, and incredibly stressful. The vet school at Oregon State was no joke, and they put a lot of pressure on their students to succeed. Being that it was such a competitive program, it was in a way like survival of the fittest. If you couldn't handle the fast pace and high stakes, you'd easily be weeded out at some point or another.

Chloe still had her head above water, but she had started to feel like her professors' main objective was testing the limits of her sanity. Most of the time she felt like she was keeping up by only a very small margin, doing the bare minimum just to get by. In all honesty, she was lonely, isolated, and constantly stressed. She missed her friends. She missed Atlanta. Chloe had never felt like she didn't belong, until the very moment she'd set foot at Oregon State. She wasn't cut out for a small wooded town surrounded by forest. There was no use in pretending that she was. She simply didn't fit in there, and the general isolation she felt from her classmates seemed to reflect that.

But how was she supposed to admit all of that to Beca, who had just gone on to her about how great everything was going for her? Chloe hardly wanted to admit it to herself. It was far easier for her to just keep pressing on as if nothing was wrong than to acknowledge how miserable she actually felt.

"Yeah," she said, sounding apathetic without trying to. "It's…a lot of work. But it's been pretty rewarding, I guess."

"You don't sound too convinced," Beca commented, frowning slightly.

Chloe sighed, an unsettling feeling coming over her.

"I'm just burnt out. I really needed this weekend, too. I missed you guys. I missed seeing the sun," she said with a humourless laugh.

Beca half-smiled at her, but Chloe could see the concern in her eyes. She averted her gaze, guilt sinking in her stomach.

"Well as long as you're happy," Beca said with what looked like a reassuring smile. Chloe tried to return it but her gaze dropped again, suddenly finding it hard to look her in the eye.

"Yeah," she mumbled, staring at her feet.

She simply didn't have the heart to tell Beca the truth.

 

* * *

 

Beca spent the remainder of the afternoon worrying, mainly about Chloe. After their conversation she seemed to be distracted and distant again, similar to how she had acted at the wedding at first, and Beca couldn't stop herself from fretting. Was it something she said? Did she bring something up that may have upset her? It was eating away at her that there was something on Chloe's mind that was upsetting her that Beca didn't know about, and in turn couldn't fix.

In one way, it seemed uncharacteristic for Beca to be so concerned. But on the other hand, she had never really had to worry about Chloe. For as long as Beca had known her, Chloe had always been positive, chipper and outgoing, aside from the handful of times where she would stress over a cappella-related issues. The things that bothered Chloe were often trivial, and most times she made it very clear when and why she was upset about something. The fact that something was quietly getting at her, which none of the Bellas had been made aware of was very concerning, and for Beca, her behaviour was raising many red flags.

But in all honesty, she had no idea what to do, or have a single clue as to how she could best approach the situation. Beca had never fit the role of the 'concerned friend', and highly doubted that she would do a good job of it now. Serious conversations were something she could hardly handle on their own—it didn't help that they were in a public setting.

She wanted to be able to ask Chloe what was wrong without seeming invasive or insensitive. She was treading on dark waters, and despite their efforts to mend their relationship, the circumstances were still fragile. The last thing Beca wanted was to reverse any of their progress, especially if it was something she'd said or done that was cause for Chloe's change in demeanour.

She tried to reason that Chloe didn't really seem upset with  _her_ , necessarily. The redhead was just much quieter than usual, albeit still occasionally participating in the conversation. Beca found herself starting to wish that they were alone, just so that she might be able to get a glimpse at what could possibly be going through her head.

"Alright," Aubrey announced when they'd finished browsing another store, checking her watch. "It's about a quarter to eight. Where to, ladies?"

"You know what? We should go out," Amy suggested, pointing her fingers enthusiastically. "One big final hurrah of the weekend. How about it?"

"I'm down," Emily chipped in, grinning. "I haven't been to a club in for _ever_."

"Girl, you're preaching the choir here," Flo agreed with a snap of her fingers. There were murmurs of agreement from the rest of the group.

But Beca's focus was on Chloe, who was the only one who hadn't seemed to react to the idea, and in turn, neither had she. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Aubrey, however, who was eyeing the two of them curiously.

"Beca, Chloe? Do you guys want to come with us?" she asked, snapping the both of them from their own little worlds.

"Uh—" Beca stammered, caught off-guard by the sudden confrontation. "I'm not sure, what are you feeling, Chlo?"

"I'm kind of tired actually, I think I might just head back to the hotel," Chloe said, stifling a yawn.

"You know what, me too," Beca quickly added, nodding with her.

The result was eight judgmental expressions staring back at them.

"Seriously? You guys are so lame!" Stacie deadpanned, scrunching her nose up at them.

Amy was still staring, her head cocked to one side as she tried to make sense of it, when it dawned on her.

"Ohhhh," she gasped, her mouth forming a perfect 'o' as realization came over her features. She pointed between the two of them. "I see what's going on here!"

"God," Beca muttered under her breath.

"What do you think, Flo," Stacie whispered to the shorter girl beside her. "Should we go all in?"

Beca rolled her eyes, folding her arms across her chest.

"Okay, look guys," Amy said, giving Beca and Chloe a pointed look. "There's a lot of money at stake here, so…Whatever you decide to do, just make sure you use protection. Female condoms are a thing, you know."

"Oh my god!" Beca exclaimed, her cheeks flushing crimson. "You guys are nuts! C'mon Chloe, let's go."

Beca grabbed the hand of the startled redhead and pulled her out of the store, hearing the girls' laughter on their way out. Ruffled, she stalked to the edge of the sidewalk to hail the next free cab.

"They're just so ridiculous sometimes," she mumbled as Chloe walked up to her side. To her surprise, she heard the slightest of giggles come from her friend.

Beca turned to look at her and her expression instantly softened at the sight of her smile, her cheeks tinged adorably with a light sheen of pink.

"What?" she asked her, instantly feeling flustered.

"Does it really bother you when they tease us?" Chloe asked her, her eyes appearing even more vibrant against the backdrop of the fading sun.

"Uh, well, I—" Beca stammered, the question catching her off-guard. "I mean, not really? I just…I feel like they take it too far sometimes."

The corners of Chloe's mouth turned up further, and Beca could feel her face growing hotter by the second.

"Why?" Beca tacked on, trying to appear unaffected. "Does it bother you?"

"No," Chloe shook her head, "Not really. I was just wondering."

"Oh."

Before Beca had a chance to mull over the possible meaning of their exchange, a cab pulled up to the curb in front of them. It was then that she realized she'd had her hand in the air the whole time.

She cleared her throat, attempting to play it cool as she moved to open the backseat door.

"After you," she said, grinning as she gestured to Chloe.

Chloe played along, swooning as she climbed into the cab.

"Such a gentleman," she said, making Beca snort as she scooted into the seat beside her.

Beca gave the cab driver the address of their hotel as Chloe slid next to her, taking her by surprise when she leaned her head against her shoulder. She tensed and looked down at her, suddenly concerned. But Chloe was just staring out the window, a faraway look in her eyes.

Beca glanced to the front of the cab—the driver was seemingly occupied, speaking rapid Arabic into his Bluetooth headset. Maybe this wasn't the best time to ask, but she just wanted to know that Chloe was okay. If anything just to hold her over until they got to the hotel.

"Chlo?"

"Mm," Chloe murmured, tilting her chin up so that she was looking at her.

Beca swallowed, her stormy eyes meeting crystal blue ones.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice small.

Chloe blinked, a look of confusion washing over her flawless features.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied calmly. "Why do you ask?"

Beca shifted in her seat, her gaze flickering from hers.

"You've just been quiet," she said, her brows creasing ever so slightly in her worry. There was a lot more to it than that, but Beca wasn't sure she'd be able to explain.

"Oh," Chloe said as she looked away, her lips pursed in thought. "I guess I just have a lot on my mind."

Beca frowned. She had never seen Chloe this cryptic, and it was starting to get to her.

Taking her by surprise once more, she felt soft fingers tug at hers as Chloe bent to rest her head back against her shoulder again. Hesitating, Beca let their hands intertwine as Chloe settled into her. She let her shoulders slump with a sigh as she gave in and tilted her head against Chloe's, giving her hand a gentle squeeze and brushing her thumb across her skin.

Maybe she was overthinking it. But Beca had always wondered how Chloe, one of the most outgoing people she'd ever met, could feel so comfortable around her—Beca—who was painfully awkward and practically allergic to physical contact altogether. Maybe it was because Chloe was affectionate with everyone. But something had always told Beca that something, whatever they had, was different. And while she would never admit it to anyone, when it came to Chloe, Beca didn't really mind.

In fact, at that very moment, there was nothing that she would've wanted more than to just wrap her arms around her and hold her tight. It wasn't in Beca's nature, not at all. But there was something that was nagging at Chloe, something that was potentially hurting her, and all Beca wanted was to take it away.

 

Fifteen minutes later, they stood in the elevator headed up to their hotel floor—all of the out-of-town Bellas were staying on the same one. Beca of course liked that they were all together again, but she had grown accustomed to her single, loner life in LA and suddenly having so many people in such close proximity again almost made her want to run screaming.

The elevator dinged as they reached the sixth floor, and the doors opened in front of them. Chloe hadn't said anything the entire ride up, again signaling to Beca that something was off. As much as Beca didn't want to admit it, something in her had changed since going to Oregon.

As they headed down a short hallway, they paused when they came to the legend on the wall indicating the direction in which each room number would be. Beca hesitated, knowing her room was about seven doors down to the right. But judging by the way Chloe's body was angled, she could tell that her room was down the left hall and this was where they would part for the night.

"So—"

Beca opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by an eager Chloe.

"Come to my room with me," she said quickly, her curls practically bouncing.

Beca blinked at her.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, okay. Sure."

Chloe beamed with a megawatt smile that made her bright eyes shine even brighter. It made Beca's breath catch in her throat for a moment, her stomach fluttering as she smiled back at her.

Taking her hand, Chloe led Beca into her room. It had a single king-sized bed with a chair in the corner and a dresser with a TV perched on the top of it. Beca immediately unzipped the boots she had been wearing that day as Chloe rummaged through her bag.

"I'm gonna go change, just give me one sec," she said, heading for the bathroom door.

When she had closed it behind her, Beca sat in the chair in the corner and shot her dad a quick text letting him know she was alive. She hadn't told him she was coming to Atlanta. She'd known she would be with the Bellas all weekend and wouldn't have time to go visit him.

Just as Beca was finishing up, Chloe emerged from the bathroom in a blue-and-white striped button-down pajama shirt and matching shorts, her red curls piled on the top of her head in a bun. Beca couldn't help but smile at the sight of her. Even ready for bed, Chloe was adorable.

Chloe caught Beca's eye as she hopped onto the big bed, giving her an amused look.

"What?" she asked her, grinning. "Come and sit with me, you nerd!"

Beca rolled her eyes, stifling her smile as she crawled in beside her. Chloe opened her laptop and pulled up Netflix, making Beca cringe. She hated movies, but for Chloe she always tolerated them. Back at Barden, it had become a bit of a ritual for them to get cozy in Chloe's bed and watch Netflix together. TV shows had been a bit easier for Beca to tolerate, but they would throw in the occasional movie just to change things up.

"I know it's been a while," Chloe said with a grin, as if reading her mind, "so I'll let you pick, since you hate movies so much."

She slid her laptop towards Beca, who hesitated upon seeing the screen filled with colourful titles. Instead, she gently closed it and moved it to the nightstand beside the bed. Chloe just looked at her, confusion creasing her perfect features.

"Chlo," Beca said, looking at her, "I think we should talk."

"Okay," she said slowly, "About what?"

"You—us," Beca said, stammering. She was starting to get nervous. She wanted the truth from Chloe; how things had really been for her in Oregon. There were things on her mind that Chloe was keeping from her—if anything, she just wanted to know why. If she really was hurting, Beca wanted to be able to be there for her.

"How are you? I mean really this time."

Chloe looked down at the bed, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

"I'm fine, Becs," she told her, her voice soft as she knotted her fingers together. "What more do you want to know?"

"But are you really, though?" Beca asked gently, her lips pursed in a slight frown. "I don't want to pry, it's just…You seem different."

"Maybe I've changed," Chloe said, her bright blues fluttering up to meet Beca's.

Beca pried her gaze away, a knot suddenly tightening in her stomach. It was a simple statement, but a loaded one, and Beca couldn't help but feel like it was all her own fault. She'd allowed years to pass between them, after all—of course Chloe would seem different to her. And perhaps the changes had been gradual. But the point was that Beca hadn't been there to see them. She had changed, too, and she couldn't blame herself for that. She shouldn't have expected the same of Chloe.

But despite all of that, Beca still couldn't shake the feeling that whatever was different about Chloe couldn't just be chalked up to getting older.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," Chloe added, her voice quiet. She took Beca's hand in hers, forcing the brunette to look back up at her.

"I just wish I had been there," Beca told her, her voice so soft she was nearly inaudible. She never cried, at least not in front of people, but there was a lump rising in her throat that was quickly becoming very difficult for her to swallow.

"Oh, Beca," Chloe frowned, grasping her hand tighter in hers. "Don't. Please."

When Beca still wouldn't look up, Chloe placed a hand over her jaw and gently turned her towards her.

"Look at me," Chloe murmured, prompting Beca to meet her eyes again. "This isn't your fault. We both let each other slip away. I don't want you to blame yourself, for anything. I want us to be able to put this behind us, and going forward work on getting back to how we used to be…We won't be able to do that if we don't both accept it for the way it is and move on."

Beca was silent for a moment as she processed her words.

"You're right," she finally said, letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry. I just…I don't want to be the reason why you're unhappy. I can't help but think about how much I must have hurt you."

"Beca, it's done now," Chloe told her, shaking her head. "I forgive you. And you could never be my reason for being unhappy, no matter what happens. Never ever."

"You really mean that?" Beca asked, still uncertain.

"I promise," Chloe said, smiling slightly as she gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

" _Are_ you happy?" Beca couldn't stop herself from asking, her brows still creased with worry.

Chloe hesitated before answering, glancing down at her lap as she played with Beca's fingers.

"I am now," she told her, looking back up.

Beca couldn't help but smile hopelessly as their eyes locked once more, her stomach fluttering with the way Chloe was looking at her. At that moment, she could have sworn that the Earth stopped moving, even if just for a second. She could have stared into those gorgeous eyes forever if time would allow it. Everything she didn't know she needed was suddenly found right there, in the beautiful girl staring back at her.

A shy smile crept across Chloe's face as she squeezed her hand tighter, their fingers lacing through each other's. Beca was starting to feel a blush spread down her neck, her skin growing hotter by the second. This was the connection she'd been missing so much. And even though they hadn't seen each other in two years, there was something more there. A spark between them that hadn't been there before. Something that made her heart skip when Chloe touched her hand. She wasn't sure why, but she could tell by the way Chloe was gazing at her and brushing her fingers against her skin that she felt it, too.

"So," Chloe said, breaking their gaze and pulling her hand away to reach for her laptop, "about that movie."

Beca chuckled and began scrolling through Netflix, passing through various titles without sparking much of her interest. She stopped when something caught her eye.

"Let's watch this," she said, mousing over  _Singin' in the Rain_.

Chloe's eyes widened in shock. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Beca said, pressing play.

Beca was not at all inclined to watch the movie whatsoever. But she knew it was one of Chloe's favourites, and all she wanted was to see her smile and sing along to the songs, like the Chloe she knew and loved.

Chloe let out a little squeal of excitement and intertwined their legs together under the comforter. She placed the laptop between their laps and rested her head on Beca's shoulder. A warm happiness spread through her at the gesture. She was suddenly glad that Chloe was preoccupied looking at the screen so she couldn't see her smiling like an idiot.

Beca knew that she had sort of let the conversation drop. She still felt like there was a lot Chloe wasn't telling her, but she really didn't want to pry—especially not if it would upset her mood again.

"Hey, Beca?" Chloe said as the title sequence began, not bothering to moving her head from Beca's shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"You're not…dating anyone, are you?" Chloe asked, shyly peeking up at her from where she was resting against her.

Beca almost snorted. She hadn't even thought of dating since she had gotten to LA.

"No," she said with a chuckle. "Not even close."

"Okay. Just curious," Chloe said as she put her arm around Beca's waist.

"Are you?" Beca couldn't help but ask, even though she was already fairly certain of the answer.

"No," Chloe said with a smile, letting out a giggle.

"Is something funny?" Beca smirked, arching an eyebrow at the redhead.

"No, it's just," Chloe said, stifling a grin, "It's funny, 'cause I haven't even thought of dating anyone in ages. I haven't even hooked up with anyone in like, forever."

"Same here," Beca said, nodding. "It doesn't help that all guys are complete morons."

"So true," Chloe agreed, turning back to the movie. "Girls are much better."

Beca's eyebrows shot up and she looked at Chloe, bewildered—but the redhead was still intently watching the screen. She shouldn't have even been surprised, she realized as her body relaxed and she slumped a little further into the pillows. It was classic Chloe to drop those sort of little comments like bombs in Beca's brain, proving time and time again that she thought of her own sexuality as fluid and all-inclusive.

As for Beca, she seemed to lack the emotional and intellectual depth that coming to that sort of conclusion would require. Moreover, she simply didn't have the time.

As the first song of the movie began, Chloe started singing, just loud enough for Beca to hear. She hadn't realized how much she had missed her sweet voice. How the sound of it transported her back to the Bellas and Barden and home. Home in their Bella house and in their rehearsal space and with Chloe.

It had been so long since they had last done this that Beca realized just how easy it was to forget how much you loved something once it was gone from your life. Of course she had missed Chloe, she had almost every day—but it was things like this, just them spending time together that Beca had let slip from her memory. It was yet another example of how even though she most often loathed physical contact, Chloe was the one exception to that rule. She hadn't been at first, but after much unintentional persistence from the redhead, she had gradually broken her walls down enough that Beca didn't mind being touched by her all that much. In fact, lying beside her with their arms around each other and legs entangled, Beca found it…easy. For reasons she still had yet to decipher.

As the first number finished, Beca wrapped her arm around Chloe's shoulders, giving her a gentle squeeze. The thought of having to go back to LA the next day was sobering, and suddenly glared in her mind. Her job was great—busy, but great, and she did like LA and the apartment she had proudly purchased with her own money. But in that moment, with Chloe humming sweetly along to famous showtunes and her snuggled cozily beside her, Beca realized the one thing she needed to be happy.

And tomorrow she would be flying back to Oregon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I'm so so sorry this took so long. I haven't been feeling very inspired lately, and for whatever reason my writer's block fought me with this chapter tirelessly. I know it's moving a bit slowly, but things will get a little more interesting in the next few chapters. Thank you so much for your continued support, as always ❤️

"Chlo," came Beca's voice through the darkness. "We gotta get up."

Chloe had heard the alarm go off, but she couldn't bring herself to move. The thought of getting on a plane back to Oregon filled her with a dread that spread through her limbs. The weekend had been perfect, at least as perfect as she possibly could have hoped it to be, and the last thing she wanted was to see it end. The thought of saying goodbye made her heart sink in her chest and tears threaten to pool in her eyes. After all, who knew when she would see them again?

And then there was Beca. Her Beca, who was currently rubbing small circles into her back, moving up and down from her shoulder. Her touch was soothing and gentle, and all Chloe wanted was to wrap herself into her and refuse to let go.

She had a feeling that Beca knew she was already awake. After all, it wasn't like her to have to be dragged out of bed in the morning. Chloe Beale was a morning person; she always had been. But today, she wasn't.

Even Chloe knew she wasn't acting like herself.

Soft light illuminated their side of the room as Beca switched on the bedside lamp. Reluctantly, Chloe at last turned over onto her back, suppressing a sigh. Her insides felt thick and heavy with a sadness that was so overwhelming, all she wanted to do was cry. She had been dreading making a move, because that would mean Beca would be forced to stop tracing those calming circles on her back, which was one of the few things still keeping her grounded at the moment.

"There you are," she heard Beca say. Chloe could tell she was looking at her, even though she was staring at the ceiling in her feeble attempt to keep her tears at bay. "Good morning."

Beca was trying to keep things light—she could tell by the the tentative yet gentle tone of her voice. That, and Beca Mitchell didn't believe in good mornings. Chloe did, however, and this certainly wasn't one of them. Just the fact that Beca was trying so hard to make it easier for her made a lump rise in her throat so quickly that she couldn't stop it. Tears instantly flooded her eyes but she refused to let Beca see them, blinking at the ceiling as she inhaled deeply through her nose.

"Chlo? Are you okay?" came Beca again when she didn't respond. Chloe could hear the concern in her voice, and it practically broke her. She didn't want to worry Beca. She didn't want to worry anyone. She didn't want to face what they inevitably had to.

And then, as softly as a whisper, she felt slender fingers brush against her hand and gently pick it up. Holding her hand in her palm, Beca rubbed her thumb slowly up and down her skin.

It only made the lump in Chloe's throat worse. For Beca to have had the nerve to reach out and take her hand like that…It must have meant that she really cared.

It was too much for Chloe to take. She squeezed Beca's hand, her fingers lacing through hers as her tears at last spilled from her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. She sucked in her bottom lip, trying to keep herself from letting out a sob as she turned her head and locked eyes with Beca. The brunette was sitting back on her heels and squeezing her hand back gently. The expression of fear and worry on her face absolutely tore Chloe up inside. She had to stifle another sob, the tears starting to come steady now.

Beca's face immediately dropped in concern.

"Hey," she murmured, lying back down beside her. "Chlo, what's wrong? Is something wrong? Please talk to me."

Chloe choked on another sob, shaking her head. She couldn't bring herself to speak—only wrap herself into Beca's arms, which to her surprise she welcomed her into and held her tight against her chest.

Chloe buried her face into the crook of her neck as she cried softly. And to her relief, Beca didn't tense or jump back from her. She didn't panic, or ask her a million questions; she didn't tell her 'please don't cry' or that it was okay. All she did was hold her, rub her back and run her fingers through her hair while she cried it out. At that moment, that was all Chloe could have ever needed from her.

She knew it was probably a lot for Beca to do this. It was out of her comfort zone, and not only did she claim to be terrible at comforting people, but dealing with a sobbing friend would be difficult for anyone. Beca would never know just how much it meant to Chloe that she would be there for her like this.

Once her tears had started to slow a bit, Beca pulled back from her slightly to check up on her.

"Whenever you feel ready to talk, I'm listening," she told her, smoothing the hair back from her face.

Chloe let out a breath, knotting her fingers together.

"Please don't make me go back," she whispered, her voice hoarse and shaky. "I missed you guys so much and it's so miserable in Oregon and the sun still shines here every day and…what if we fall out of touch again, Becs? I don't know if I could—"

Chloe cut herself off as her eyes started to well again, and Beca gently hushed her.

"Chloe, look at me," she said, tilting her chin up and brushing away her stray tears. "That's not going to happen again. Even if I have to make it my personal duty to talk to you every day…Then that's what it's going to take. Because you're worth it, Chlo.  _We're_  worth it. I'm not going to lose you again. I won't. I can promise you that."

"You really mean that?" Chloe asked her, almost in disbelief that those words had come from her mouth.

"With everything I have," Beca assured her, giving her hand a small squeeze.

Chloe blinked at her in awe, her eyes tearing up again, but this time for a different reason. This was yet another side of Beca that she hadn't seen before, and yet she couldn't complain. This Beca was sweet, and thoughtful, and comforting and caring, and everything that Chloe could have possibly needed right now. And while it was a side of her she hadn't been expecting to see, at the same time she was somehow still her Beca, who hadn't changed a bit.

Her words seemed to tide Chloe over for the time being, and after double-checking what felt like half a million times, she got up to go pack her own suitcase.

"You're sure you're okay? You don't need me to help you?"

"I'm  _fine_ , Beca," Chloe insisted for the umpteenth time. "I know I had a bit of a breakdown, but I'm fine. I'm a big girl, I can manage."

"Well, if you're sure," Beca said, still looking apprehensive about leaving. "I'll be back in ten minutes anyway—"

"I'm positive," Chloe cut her off, smirking slightly. "Thank you for being so sweet."

In the blink of an eye, Beca's pale complexion turned crimson, and Chloe had to stifle a giggle.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Beale," she said, rocking back on her heels, cool as a cucumber despite being as red as a turnip. "'Sweet' is not a word in my vocabulary, unless we're talking about a 'sweet ride', or 'sweet tooth'—"

Chloe rolled her eyes, her arms folded across her chest as she ushered Beca towards the door.

" _Go_ ," she urged her, smirking as she opened the door and pushed her out of it. "I'll be ready by the time you come back."

Chloe sighed as it closed behind her, and she turned to face her mostly-packed suitcase lying open on the floor. She still didn't want to leave, and she was still going to miss Beca like hell. Beca, a friend willing enough to comfort her while she cried, who somehow also managed to make her forget about all the reasons why she was hurting, even if it was just for a moment. Even if just to get her to smile again.

She didn't know how she'd gotten so lucky.

  


* * *

  


"Well well well, look who's doing the walk of shame," Fat Amy practically sang the second Beca walked back into their hotel room. Her eyes immediately rolled back into her head.  


"It's not like that," she said, knowing full well Amy still wouldn't believe her, "Trust me."

"And why should I trust you, Mitchell?" Amy said, folding her arms across her chest from where she sat on her bed, her packed and zipped suitcase lying at the foot of it. "Since you've been  _sooo_  honest with us in the past…"

"Oh, whatever," Beca rolled her eyes as she flipped her bag open and looked for something to wear. "The only thing I ever kept from anyone was my internship. If Chloe and I had been sleeping together, I'm sure you all would have figured it out by now."

"Yeah, and I'm trying to say we  _have_ figured it out, you dimwit," Amy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Beca sighed, looking at her with her hands on her hips.

"We were watching Netflix, and it was late, and we both fell asleep," she said, turning back to her suitcase. "But, whatever you want to believe."

"Oh, now this is just too much," Amy said, hardly containing her laughter. "You were watching  _Netflix_? I mean, come on, Beca. Netflix, really? As in 'Netflix and chill'?"

The blonde shook her head while Beca imagined banging her own against the wall repeatedly.

"You really thought I would buy that?"

"Well it's the truth," Beca said, shrugging nonchalantly. "And, please be gentle with Chloe, okay? She's had a rough morning."

"Why, is it because you fucked all of her brains out last night?" Amy blurted.

Beca just blinked at her, folding her arms across her chest.

"Right, okay, sorry. We're being serious," Amy said, grimacing. "What happened?"

"I don't even know," Beca said, sighing. "She was fine last night, well, seemed to be fine, and then when she woke up this morning, she didn't even want to get up. I had to wake her. And it was weird, 'cause she usually bolts out of bed in the morning like some kind of psycho. And then she just got really upset about leaving, and…I don't know. I'm worried there's something else wrong."

"Maybe she's just PMSing," Amy said with a shrug. "We won't know unless she's still upset later, I guess."

"I guess," Beca huffed, her shoulders slumping as she plopped down in the chair by the desk. "I just hope she's okay and it was just her having a moment or something. Anyway, I'm gonna go get ready."

  


  


It took no more than five minutes for Beca to throw on her clothes and freshen up in the bathroom. When she emerged, she and Amy gathered up their things and double-checked that they had everything before heading into the hall.

"You can go down to the lobby if you want. I'm going to get Chloe," Beca told Amy, who nodded and walked towards the elevators.

As Beca walked the short way to Chloe's room, she felt a heaviness twist in the pit of her stomach. It was starting to sink in that they were leaving. The weekend was over, and they would all be heading back to their separate lives.

Beca sighed. Her heart already ached for Chloe—after all, the redhead brought so much joy into her life without even trying. But after the events of that morning, she couldn't help but feel worried for her all over again. Maybe it had just been a passing moment. But what if it wasn't?

The way Chloe talked about Oregon worried her. Every time home or school came up, she seemed to become quiet and distant and detached. And then she had cried to her not to make her go back. Maybe the stress was getting to her and she wanted to avoid talking about it over the weekend…But she couldn't help but wonder.

Beca knocked, and in a few moments Chloe came to the door, dressed and ready. The next thing she knew Chloe practically bounced into her arms and buried her face in her neck, nearly knocking her off her feet. Surprising herself, once Beca registered what was happening she wrapped her arms around her waist, smiling as she nestled her face into soft ginger locks.

They stood like that for a moment, and Beca let it be. Chloe was the only one who'd ever had the nerve to invade her personal bubble so incessantly, and she was starting to get used to it again. With the amount of hugging and cuddles and hand-holding that had occurred over the weekend, she was going to miss how affectionate Chloe had been with her. In a way, it was nice to have someone who went out of their way to be close to you. She let it happen, because she knew that this would be one of the last times they would hug for a while. She didn't know for how long, but Beca wanted to hold on to her for as long as she could.

"You ready?" she asked Chloe after a few more seconds, silently wishing that she wouldn't have to let her go.

"Ready as I'll ever be," she said, looking up at her with those gorgeous eyes.

Beca couldn't help but smile.

  


   


The shuttle bus to the airport was quiet, save for the quiet chatter from the other passengers talking amongst themselves. Beca and Chloe were wedged beside each other in the back seat with Fat Amy in the seat in front of them, who kept tossing Beca mildly concerned looks from over her shoulder. Chloe was practically curled into Beca, their hands intertwined as she leaned her head on her shoulder. She had been quiet ever since they left the hotel, and Beca was worried as to what could be going on inside her head.

By the time they were almost to the airport, Chloe looked like she was nearly on the verge of a breakdown, holding onto Beca even more than before. Beca could only try to comfort her through small gestures, like squeezing her hand or rubbing her back. She knew that saying something would more than likely open up a floodgate of pent up emotions that neither of them were ready to address just yet.

She was more somber than ever as Beca helped her out of the shuttle van, looking as sad and crestfallen as a lost puppy. Beca found herself wanting to do anything that might help to make it better. But Chloe was uncharacteristically quiet, and she hardly knew how to approach it. All she could do was just be there for her to lean on. She never let go of her hand.

Chloe really started to tear up when the rest of the Bellas arrived to say their goodbyes. She practically collapsed into Aubrey's shoulder crying, who assured her that it would be okay before gently guiding her into the airport.

"Thank you guys for coming," Chloe told the rest of the girls, who had all gathered in a group near the entrance to security, "It really means a lot to me."

"Of course, Chlo," Stacie said, gazing at her with admiration.

"We wouldn't just let you leave without coming to say goodbye," Flo added, whose eyes widened when Chloe just seemed to become more emotional.

"Uh—" Emily stammered, looking frantically between Beca and the rest of the girls, "It's okay, Chloe! We'll see each other again soon!"

"You think so?" Chloe asked, her eyes red-rimmed and bleary.

"Of course," Aubrey said, stepping forward and putting her hands on Chloe's shoulders, "Even if it means we'll all have to get on a flight to Oregon. We'll make it happen. I promise."

Chloe's eyes brimmed with happy tears this time as she threw her arms around Aubrey, taking her a bit by surprise with the force of it. The former captain exchanged a concerned look with Beca, who gave a slight nod, stifling her sigh.

"It was really nice seeing you all," she told them, trying her best to put on her most genuine smile. "We should try to get together again soon, like Aubrey said. And like, actually do it—not just say we will and then it never actually happens."

The girls laughed a bit, even Chloe as they all looked around at each other.

"Alright," Beca said, caving with a smile. "Group hug?"

More giggling ensued as they all enveloped each other in a big group hug, all of them trying to squeeze each other as tight as possible with Chloe right in the middle.

"We should get going," Beca said once they'd separated, looking at Chloe.

They all hugged each other once more and said their goodbyes. It took another gentle coax to get Chloe to walk away from them, the three of them waving as they made their way into security. Chloe was trying her best to hold back more tears, Beca could tell. She put her arm around her as they approached the lineup, giving her back a small rub.

"You okay?" she asked her, her voice soft.

"Yeah," Chloe said, nodding, "I will be."

   


 

They went through security fairly quickly and figured out their respective gates. They were still early, but Beca and Amy's flight left before Chloe's, and Beca was more than dreading having to leave Chloe there by herself.

Chloe decided to wait with them at their gate, which Beca had expected. She was attached to her the whole time they sat there, letting time go by, and Beca was starting to get used to the sensation of Chloe's head resting against her shoulder.

"I don't want to go back," she whispered after some time had passed. It had been quiet between them, and Fat Amy was preoccupied playing a game on her iPad in the seat across from them.

"I know," Beca murmured, glancing down at her as she brushed her thumb against her hand. "What is it that you're worried about?"

"Well, I definitely don't miss school," Chloe said, staring straight ahead at nothing in particular, "And I don't mean to complain but I just really don't want to go back. This weekend has been the most fun I've had in a long time."

Beca frowned, looking down at their intertwined hands. She didn't know what she could say to make it better. She didn't want to tell her that it would be okay, because what if it wouldn't be?

"I'm really sorry, Chlo," she said after a moment, her voice quiet. "I wish I could do something to make it better. If it helps at all, I get it. Work sucks, and I definitely felt burnt out, too. But you know what, it's good that we were able to take a step back and maybe take it a little easier in the future."

"You already do make it better," Chloe told her, playing with her fingers. "Thank you for being so patient with me."

"You don't have to thank me," Beca told her, brushing her cheek with her finger. "How you feel is valid, and however much you need to talk about it, I'm here."

Chloe looked up at her and smiled slightly, but her blue eyes were sad. Beca just wanted to take all her hurt away, wanting nothing more than to see that bright shining smile again.

"Wanna listen to music?" Beca offered, holding out a pair of earbuds from her pocket. And much to her relief, the smile that she knew and loved crept slowly onto Chloe's cheeks.

"Duh," she said, grinning as she put one in. Smiling to herself, Beca put on a playlist she'd made just for them. She relaxed and put her arm around Chloe, who had already began tapping her fingers to the music.

   


   


The time ticked by and Beca's anxiety only heightened with each passing minute. Chloe was effectively distracted by the music, but Beca dreaded more than anything the moment when they would call for boarding. It was bad enough just to imagine leaving Chloe behind by herself. It was another thing entirely to actually have to do it.

She could tell that Chloe was starting to pick up on her stress, noticing a definite difference from just minutes earlier. She was leaning her head against her shoulder and squeezing her hand tightly in hers, and Beca was internally cursing herself for it. She just wanted Chloe to be okay.

Beca turned towards her and wrapped her arms around her, tilting her head against hers and holding her close. She let herself relax against her, nestling her face into her hair and diverting all of her focus to just being in Chloe's arms. She didn't care if people were staring, or what they might think or say. All that mattered was that she was with Chloe, and she didn't want to let her go.

 _I don't want to leave you_.

Her heart dropped in her chest when an announcement sounded over the intercom.

"All passengers on Flight 3702 direct to Los Angeles please report to gate 64B for boarding."

Chloe looked up at her suddenly, her blue eyes wide and panicked. Beca stared back at her, temporarily at a loss for what to do as people started to move around her.

"Hey," she managed to say, gripping Chloe's arms and looking her in the eye, "It's going to be okay. Okay?"

Chloe gave a small nod as they both stood and Beca fumbled to gather her belongings. She felt scattered, her head seeming to spin—her mind seemed to be focused on everything other than what she was doing.

Amy approached them and glanced between them, causing Beca to stop whatever she was doing. She opened her mouth then closed it, hardly knowing what to say.

"I, uh—I'm gonna go line up," Amy mumbled, jabbing a thumb in the direction of the queue waiting to board before turning to Chloe. "It was good seeing you, Chloe."

Amy stepped forward and grasped Chloe in a quick hug before stumbling back and skittering off to the line. For once in her life Fat Amy was speechless, and Beca could hardly believe it herself.

That left just her and Chloe, the two of them staring at each other wordlessly.

Chloe's lip quivered, and the next thing Beca knew she was pulling her into her arms, tucking her head against her chest as she cried softly into her shoulder.

Beca's heart was in her stomach. She didn't know how to make this better. She had never seen Chloe so broken and fragile. It just wasn't like her to be so vulnerable, and seeing her like this hurt Beca in a way she never would have expected.

"Chlo, look at me," she whispered, picking up her chin so that she would look into her eyes. "I know it's hard right now, and I know you're scared. And I know I wasn't there when I promised you I would be. But that's over now. I promise you that this time, I'll be there when you need me. I'm not going to let you go."

Chloe bit her lip, her eyes welling up all over again as she sank back into Beca's arms, grasping her tightly.

"I just miss you so much already," Chloe murmured against her through her tears. Beca frowned, rubbing her back as she pulled her a little closer.

"I miss you too, Chlo," Beca told her, pulling back to cup her face in her hands, brushing her tears away with her thumbs. The longer she stared into those sad, bleary eyes the more they broke her heart. "You're going to be okay, okay? I know you will. You're a tough cookie."

Beca smiled as Chloe brightened a little as she smoothed the hair back from her face. Even despite her tears, she was still the most beautiful girl Beca had ever seen.

"Be strong, okay?" she told her quietly, drinking in every one of her gorgeous features. "I know you will. You got this, Chlo."

Chloe nodded, her lip still quivering. Beca could tell she was still trying to keep her tears at bay as she wiped away the remaining strays.

"Thank you for believing in me," she said quietly, looking up at her with wide eyes.

"I'll always believe in you," Beca told her, smiling. "No matter what."

Chloe wrapped herself into her arms once more, and Beca held her extra tight, nestling her face into her hair as she savoured their last few moments together.

"I have to go," she told her softly, her voice strained as she felt herself becoming choked up. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

Chloe nodded, her eyes welling as she squeezed Beca's hand.

"I'll see you soon, Becs."

Taking one last long look at her, Beca grasped her hand and, taking a deep breath, turned away from her.

As she looked back at her, she knew there was nothing in the world important enough that she would let herself lose Chloe.

Not again.


End file.
